Life

[Taria]

Why is it that the qualifications of having a successfull life is meeting every single dumbass's expectation after another?
Like being a productive member of society; society has never given one fuck about what the hell I do as long as I'm not running around tearing through people with a chainsaw. Why should I give a damn about being productive? Nobody goes around giving people opportunities to be helpful. If anything they seem to want to make it as cutthroat as possible to look anymore signifigant then the next person, and then complain that foreigners are taking their jobs. Am I not being helpful to the hundreds of other people competing against eachother by laying on my butt and not giving a damn? More jobs for the rest of people, no? Yet somehow this is frowned upon. If you're not trying to one-up the person next to you you are a failure as a human being.

[Rooiehaan #2]

I think the answer lies in the fact that nobody truly likes leechers; if you work hard for you money and pay taxes and you see someone with state benefits you go angry.
You pay the government good money, and they give it to people who are oftenly seen as lazy.

I think this is the root of the problem, the problem where people see lazy people as a threat to their own perfect existence.
The other fact is that the whole society is looking down on people sitting on their butts, for if everyone would do exactly that the society would crumble; leading food shortages, riots, war and civil strive.

The last thing i think would be the reason people frown on persons mentioned above is because they are jealous. They want to be able to relax as well, but because they have chosen to lead the 'perfect' live they've got too many demands already.
Mortgages to pay, kids to raise, husbands/wives to please, friends to hang out with, families to brag to, colleagues to impress and doing sports all demands too much time nowadays, and these things wont let people chill out and relax. Hence, jealousy.

oh, maybe its a little late for this, but is your post a serious question you need answering or more a rhetorical question?

[Suraru]

Ya, people suck, we know.

Over competition also sucks, I have a friend that joined the sualoin temple. They believe in zero competition with other humans. You should look into it.

[Taria]

I'm just venting... I'm an unofficial genious and my whole life has been about living up to someone's expectations. Yeah, so I did all that good-girl crap my whole life and did what I was supposed to, and you know what I get now? More expectations. It's like, will I ever be fucking good enough? An interesting thing I always noticed as a kid is that: for little brats that act like shit all the time, it's a fucking miracle to everyone when they aren't being somewhat of a nuisance, but when you're always doing the right thing and suddenly you say, "I can't do this" They're like, "Wait... what was that you little bitch?"

[Rooiehaan #2]

hey, i know that story!
seems awfully familiar to mine :/

Venting is okay though, dear, so don't worry :3

i'm not sure who's expectations you're referring to, and i guess it's not my business, but have you tried saying that you're sick of meeting up with those expectations?
It worked wonders for several people i know.

[Taria]

It's not that easy. It's like, when do you pick the right time to disappoint your mother? All she ever tells me is that I'm a disappointment, but she doesn't even realize it. It's all a very psychological dilemma that I suspect stemmed from the way her mother treated her.

[Rooiehaan #2]

she tells you you ARE a disappointment? wow, thats... rather harsh.
I'm afraid i can't help you very much in such a situation, but i'd be more then willing to talk if you need a listening ear

[BlueLight]

It's not that easy. It's like, when do you pick the right time to disappoint your mother? All she ever tells me is that I'm a disappointment, but she doesn't even realize it. It's all a very psychological dilemma that I suspect stemmed from the way her mother treated her.

Verbal abuse is considered abuse. As you said your having a psychological dilemma. I don't understand whats going on so i can't say if what she's doing is in face abuse or not. If you think she'll listen you should talk to her about it. If your on the fence I personally would side with talking just because humans for this funny way of not being as bad as you think they will be.

That's about all i can say.

[Taria]

She doesn't literally say that, it's just the demeanor. Like, you can tell someone's tired when they yawn, but sometime people yawn for no reason, and that makes you feel like they are tired even though you may understand that is not the underlying psychological reason they are yawning.

[Rooiehaan #2]

Ah~ i see. sorry for not understanding you.
Still, the fact remains its a bit hard to do anything in such a situation. I myself had the same thing, but i made it rather clear
to my parents that i would only meet up to their expectations when i felt like it.
Took me a lot of failing those expectations on purpose to make them see the point btw, so that might be a bit of a pain.

Regardless, the offer to hear you out when you need it still stands

[suki888]

Life is a gift that would be cherish and not to be waste..

[Suraru]

Life is a gift that would be cherish and not to be waste..

HA
Fuck that.

Would you rather have 100 years of pain?
Or 20 years of pleasure?

[suki888]

HA
Fuck that.


yes y not

[Gorbaz]

Society places expectations on me. For example, I am nearly 31. I live at home, renting out a room a room at my mother's house. At my age, society expects me to have a home of my own, a girlfriend (perhaps even wife), and a job earning enough money to pay for both. It also expects me to have my own form of motorised transport.

But, you know what? I'm comfortable where I am. So what if my job isn't a big earning job? It's close to where I live, covers the expences that I have quite nicely, and leaves a fair amount as 'disposable income'. My mother used to tell me that I'm wasting my talents in the jobs I've had before (retail shop floor work), but I'm a peaople-person. I like interaction, and I liked those jobs.

A day will have to come when your mother understands that you dn't want to live up to her expectations, and that you want to live your own life, as you want to live it.

I know society is different in America is it is in England, and that there's always a seeming pressure to perform, and be the 'straight A' person, but if everybody was that person, it would cease to be different. Society needs different people in it to function. If you don't want to be the good-two-shoes, always please everyone no matter the cost, then good for you. Be yourself, not what everyone else wants you to be.

[laa]

Sounds annoying! A parent should always be supporting, regardless of expectations.
Of course I don't... Really... Have... Like... Experienced this yet... But still.

I must say, I'm too curious to die, regardless of pleasure. I want to see if this race can succeed in opening it's eyes to possibility. Mars is one of the true tests in my eyes. The sooner we get there and colonize it, the sooner we will open our eyes to our true potential. Until then, I'll be waiting. (Also, I'd really like to get some life-extending operations if it ever becomes possible... That, I've heard it will be, but still.)

[Thaedael]

Cities are a form of mutual indebtedness to one another. I give up some of my freedoms so that other freedoms can be guaranteed. This can be seen in the form of how we deal with real estate laws etc. Which is a different bag of worms since only an exceptional few of us on this forum are fortunate enough to own our homes. However the way we redistribute wealth can be a good thing. Society is only as good as it treats its weakest member. Granted I don't live in the USA so my opinion and life experiences may be vastly different from your own.

That being said, we live in a post-fordist society in most of the north-western world in which the easy days of paying someone 30k a year for turning a screw is over. This is because manufacturing has been moved away to places where labor is cheap. So our economic activities are centered around being highly specialized yet diverse. This is because most companies are smaller now specializing in non-vertically-integrated supply chains that deal with just-in-time production as opposed to just-in-case production. This means that we need to become highly specialized to fight for what the few jobs there are. The good news is that after the baby boomer generation, the generation bust will take most of the best positions, in which the rest will fall on the subsequent generation. The population across the world is also plateauing and is looking like in 2050 will begin to decrease to sustainable levels.

What this means is that jobs will be available but higher education will be a must. For my field, I need 2 years experience as well as a masters degree. Most parents will see this as a must or else their kids will fall into the service industry where they won't meet the lifestyle they themselves have met. So ya there is pressure obviously to be a perfect person. However I have a friend of mine, who dropped out of university, does drugs, makes comic books, runs a book store, as well as goes on tour all the time on his band and he is doing fine. Enjoy what you do, and budget yourself well and you can go wherever you want.

/Rant

[Taria]

Lol, you're so awesome Thaedael. Why don't you ever play RPs with us?

[BlueLight]

I would think it has something to do with some people not being able to spell check worth shit *Blue light.*

[fould12]

If you're wondering why anyone should strive to be something/someone, or why to meet someone's expectations, you have to ask the question, what will it get me in the end?
Let's say you quit school, moved into an apartment, lived off of the government, and became a 300 pound pile of fat, who had no better idea of 'fun' then to play some sort of video game, watch porn, and chat with friends. Is this a good life?
Let's say you got a good career, impressed your parents growing up, found a super-high paying job, bought a mansion, and lived by yourself. Your job takes up most of your day, the rest you spend trying to impress your boss, getting good reputation, and doing whatever you could to get rather more money, or more fame, hardly any time for relaxation. Is this a good life?
Now let's say you got good grades, impressed your parents, got a college diploma, and found a moderately paying job, but you loved this job, and found it more fun then work. You found a nice home, away from the city, married a loving husband/wife, had some kids, and enjoyed whatever you could. Is this a good life?

These all depend on your memory. Eventually, everyone is going to die, right? And if you think about that, all of your memory is lost, so all of your life's good/bad memories meant nothing, it was like you were never born. So this can make you think, "It doesn't matter what I do, I'm gonna die anyway, let's get high and party like there's no tommorow!!!". If you think this, it doesn't matter, you're just going to die and forget anything that happened to you.

laa seems to have a different belief, he wants to live for as long as he can, and hopefully never die, therefore always keeping his memories, giving his life purpose.


So my final question for you Taria, and whoever has been wondering why to strive to be someone, what's going to happen in the end?

[Taria]

there will be cake