critiques on my work

[Off Topic]

a walking chick

montaggio camminata giocatore ridimensionato.gif (494.86 KiB) Viewed 6512 times

Hi there!
Once in a while I show up out of nowhere like a nasty goblin, hope you don't mind too much.
This time I've something more to show other than chit chat!
I'd really like to receive some critiques on this walk loop I've done.
Right now I'm almost pleased with the result, but almost is simply not enough when it comes to traditional animation and I certainly don't want to waste time colouring something that doesn't work properly.
I know it's not perfect, but minor issues like wrinkles won't be much of a problem when this loop gets implemented in the final game ( I'll tell you about it all in good time), since you won't see the avatar that big.
I'm sorry for that epileptic blink

[Zeus Kabob]

It's a good walk cycle, though balanced pretty far forward.

[Off Topic]

Thanks Zeus! I'm looking forward to upload here also the other animations I've planned to do... this time I wanted her to ascend the ass particularly up so I've unbalanced her a bit, you are right

[Terrantor!!!]

U can still keep the top part and give her a run cycle. As for the face since it looks like she's scanning the area ahead of her, just squint her eyes. I like her proportions and I'm really glad someone here still appreciates frame by frame animation. looking forward to future submissions.

[Off Topic]

that's a cool idea! I'll keep that in mind, in case the game proves to be too much static ( when I scheduled the work I forgot the whole run thing), thanks both for the advice and for the compliment!

[Off Topic]

Here's the walk/run loop for the main enemy in the game.
Now... in the beginning I was planning to have two enemies: a dog ( german shepherd dog to be precise) and a hybrid between muscle man and the previously mentioned dog.
I don't know why exactly, this whole idea came to me while I was playing safeguard on the new CoD:Ghosts.
Since animating takes a lot of time, as you surely know, I'm not so sure about the dog thing... it'd be easier to palette swap the mutant and give him some different " action" animation; if enthusiasm remains I may go for both!
Again, since I'm posting clean ups, critiques are really appreciated because let me know if something will have to be reviewed before the colourings!

[Zeus Kabob]

His back half moves way too much, and for the amount of movement he makes you need to tween a lot more.

I'd suggest you keep the back relatively steady, using the feet to convey force by sliding along the ground (if you want to use dust effects, that's where to use them). The front paws need to move faster without stretching forward as much. Essentially, you should change the animation to a more controlled and regular scramble, rather than a very loose crawl.

Oh, one more thing. Remember to bring his knees further up along his chest.

[Off Topic]

those are interesting suggestions, I'll remember them!
To be honest I already noticed the legs issue, I'm thinking whether if to change it or not ( since I don't want a controlled movement on him), thanks for the very careful feedback!

[Cthulhu]

I really like your animations, frame by frame is done consistently so the smaller detailed movements are easy to pick up with the eyes Supah fine, I say. The way the dog man runs is kinda like, how do I say... it would be impossible to run like that for a being of that anatomical structure and size. Especially four legged way. I don't think I've ever seen someone (much less an animal) move where the legs go like that. Maybe you should like, make him run like how wolves or horses do. Unless that is how they run and my eyes are just making me see awkward things.

[Off Topic]

Hi Cthulhu!
Thanks for your really kind words, I appreciate!
What you say is right: a human being can not move like that, he could probably try but eventually won't manage to do it that way.
Before trying to animate it I tested that movement for myself and achieved something similar to that one; I first tried to move like a wolf would do ( jumping with arms straight forward and then trying to catch up with the legs to leap again) but, as everybody can easily find out, our anatomy doesn't allow us to do that.
Then I came up with the idea of splitting the limbs, that way I could move much more faster and reliably; now, I believe animals do the same when they are trotting.
I'm not sure about this because I couldn't get my hand on enough references, but I believe human beings can mimic a trot albeit not efficiently, what they can't do is galopping.
All theese words just to say that I've tried to make the mutant feel more comfortable with that movement ( and probably that'd work even better with some more frame!) without trying to explicitly cheat ( partly because I planned a gallop movement for another enemy, which should be a " real" dog doing a " real" gallop and I wanted the viewer to distinguish immediatly between the two movements)
Rambling speech?

[Off Topic]

Hey again!
It's been a month of pain and misery but it's finally over!
This is the best I could do with the project meanwhile ( it's been really a shitty bunch of weeks), I'm as slow and purposeful as a plague marine looking to spread some smegmaAIDS up the ass of those nun bitches: I'll go through it but I have to take my time!
So, what is this?
Basically, it's the teasing part of a sex scene in which the player's avatar will have the upper hand.
I'll add the enemy with his animations after all the ones of the bitch are done ( they'll be really simple).
This time I didn't went through the clean up, I've found out it's useless at this point because so many things may change before the end and would be a waste of time ( I'll do it once I'm sure things are cool the way they look).
Lemme hear your opinions!

[Terrantor!!!]

Looking good. I'm literally looking for something to criticize, lol. Makes me wanna fuck her back down to her level.

[Off Topic]

Thanks!
Yeah she'd really deserve that, I'll be harsh on her when the enemies will have the upperhand!

[Sythis_Sythes]

I judge my own art pretty harshly, so I'll be the 'bad guy' here and give you what came to mind when i saw your taunt animation. First thing i noticed was her arm kinda grew a bit when she moves her arm to the left near the end of the animation, just looks weird to me. hmm.... only other thing i see that's a little weird is that the animation feels jumbled and un-smooth, but of course that's because it's a rough draft done on what seems to be hand drawings on paper, which astounds me someone has the dedication to make an h-game from paper onwards. 0.0 With all the different things you can do on a computer, graphics drawing through a tablet is usually easier, since you fix mistakes better. But i bet the final game would look gorgeous cause of the dedication.

If i may ask, why is she.... dressed so weirdly??? Just seems rather odd to me you'd wear the helmet and all the protective gear, but leave your ass and crotch exposed to the wind. But that's real life common sense talking, it's not like i don't mind seeing a nice ass like that all the time.

A suggestion, and i think someone else said this, would be to add more images to the animation, though i bet it'd be hard to do on paper. So when you make it in digital, it'd look smooth if you add an extra image or two between certain actions so the human eye can see her move easier. Think about how most movies run at 24 fps, while the animation runs at about 13. Even one frame can help make the game look better.

Otherwise, I'm glad to see someone else out there making some really good stuff! (unlike me.) I love the detail on her boots by the way, when shes walking and when shes turning, it feels the most real of her body along with her huge overly sexy hip. I'm kinda sad i don't see any hair though, feels more feminine with hair on the head for some reason. Any chance we'll get to see her helmet come off? i imagine some curly red hair under there myself.

[Off Topic]

Hi Sythis_Sythes and thanks for your words!
You're right about the digital stuff, it'd be a little easier and a lot more faster to do this work straightly digitally!

One of the things right now is really driving me crazy is the fact that I won't be able to easily provide players enough customization ( which is so much important in a game like this) because of my choice to do things traditionally.
One of my friends already pointed out the " hairs affair", which is something I thinked of in the beginning... I wasn't sure about my skills as an animator and felt better to skip them.
Right now I think it wouldn't be so hard to animate ( say, almost decently) a couple of different hairstyles, it would simply be a lot of extra work!

No, seriously... Since I'm looking forward to program the game with Unity's engine, and right now some more 2d wise content have been implemented, there's no need to discard the idea of character customization.
If that engine is able to do what I'd like it to do the way I want it to do ( which is, to handle things like dust sweat and semen without bugs) then it won't be complicated to add, say, 4 different hairsyles ( the helmet one, the very short one, the ponytail and the " long sexy feminine hair" one).

A different matter is her outfit.
Let's say that the Beta of this game really " strikes the folks", I'd be very pleased to add 4 different " heads" for her ( and maybe a way to let you pick her colours).
To do those heads I'd only have to draw nothing but a small portion of every frame the character has ( paying attention to just one " pivot point", her hair joint) and add a script to run those animations properly ( which should be really easy, considering they share the same triggers as the original).
But let's say I'd like to add a different outfit... well, that wouldn't be so easy.
If she had, like you say ( and as I originally planned her), a simple pair of trousers to cover her ass, than I'd have to rework the finite-state machine to match the event an enemy hit her while her ass is " protected", which means also to add a sort of armour-like feature in the game, not to mention the difficulty to match the wrinkles to her movements in animation.
That is, sadly, an absurd amount of work ( plus I believe I would fuck up more than once while trying to handle those wrinkles).

Back on the very present, this project's animations have 12 frames per second, it's sloppy but it's a bargain since I'll have to draw a lot of stuff... as you suggest, the idea of adding a couple more frames here and there is not to be discarded ( after all, animation isn't something in which you can afford laziness), we shall see!
I'll remember your observations about the arm and I thank you for your compliments!

[Sythis_Sythes]

No problem, always happy to help someone grow even better at something they're already great at! I don't mind that shes got no clothes on her groin or that her hair isn't visible, it still looks fantastic with what you've done so far.

Don't even worry at all about customization, be sure to start first with simplistic games so you can actually have something to build upon. once you have the games foundations and maybe even a beta people can play, then see how it would work with player customizing or even ask the community in a poll whether or not they want customization. (as in, if they wanna wait for the game to release for purely cosmetic stuff, get it after it releases as an update, buy it like a tiny DLC, all depends on how you'd wanna go with it.) Right now i think it'd be cool if you made the last boss knock her helmet off in a last cut-scene or something and have her put it back on for the boss fight, or just save the hair ideas for a second game in the series if you wanna make another.

Also, this is a hentai game, so there's a LOT of absurd things you can add and it be perfectly normal to have them,lmao. Don't stress too much about what you CAN'T give us, and more about what you CAN give us, if you even have to stress at all. We all can surely wait for such a good looking game already, and there isn't even any porn or game-play!

If it's too much work to add customizing in a first game, bring it back at a much later time in the future and play around with it if you still feel like it, like after you've made 2-3 games already and feel up to the challenge. Who knows, you could start a revolution of amazingly detailed and fun hentai games that can sell for more than $15 max and still be worth every penny But i get ahead of myself, start with the now!

Another thing you could do would be to just double up the images, each image has 2 frames. But that's just spit-balling ideas, Not sure that'd work so well if i tried it.

I am in no way a programmer (barely can call me an artist) so i can and can't understand the complexities of every thing you could add to a hentai game, since they're all pretty difficult to me. But unity is a great engine, though it has too 'open' of a system for a single person to make a game themselves and release it in 1-2 years time imo. Game maker and flash seem to be the best bets for a 2-d game like this, though that's just from personal experience, you could be amazing at unity programming and suck at flash, who knows.

Hope to see more coming soon! Oh, and as soon as you get a alpha version uploaded with your first enemy and h-animation, I'm probably gonna stalk the game closely waiting for it to release,lmao. Just shows you how badly we need more h-developers making h-games here in the U.S.

[Off Topic]

Hi Again AND Happy New Year to All!
Now that a new year has started I've realized I should really get a move on and animate everytime I can, to avoid the nasty chance of taking too long and get " lost in progress".
Hopefully I will!
Now... What I'd like to subject to your attention today is an enhancement of the previously uploaded teasing stuff.
I know I know, it may seem a meager upload, but I really put my heart into it ( at least, I did my best).
Frankly, I must admit I've rushed into this thing the wrong way around ( I just realized it yesterday), but still I managed to stand up against the temptation of screwing up.
Instead, I went through that loop again and added/changed/deleted some stuff ( still the pencil test, not the clean up).

I couldn't resist the need of posting it asap, I'll keep the other stuff I've almost done for the next time!
Here it is:

[Terrantor!!!]

If you would ever be interested in animating pixel art, let me know. I like ur stuff.

[Sythis_Sythes]

Looks a lot smoother, and all around what should be aimed for as a final product. Still amazed at that detail you've got on her, especially the feet. reminds me of some of the high budget cartoon movies where I've noticed the feet as well for some reason, maybe cause I'm really bad at hands and feet when drawing

I'd say go ahead and make a really easy to draw and basic enemy that you can get a prototype game up and running with, as that could help you keep from losing progress a lot easier than just animating. All games start with an idea, and i'm loving this one so far!

[Off Topic]

Hi Terrantor!!!
Thanks a lot for your appreciations!
I never tried to do pixel art and I can say the same about animating it, but pixel animation is one of the closest thing to traditional one ( as far as I know) and I consider myself to be a fond follower of those things ( like the ones in Street Fighter II or Cadillacs and Dinosaurs or The Punisher... pretty much everything Capcom went through during the 80s and early 90s) so I may be able to do also that decently... who knows!
Your proposition is cool, I'll certainly tell you if I'll move into that!

Sythis_Sythes many thanks for your compliments!
I'm looking forward to satisfy my dire need of an early alpha as soon as I can, many things still have to be done but I'll stick with the most necessaries in order to reach that goal faster because, as you say, it'd really help!

Thanks again to everyone! your words and opinions are really helpful ( and pleasing), much more than an ordinary fave/like