Twin Fable RPG

[AlphaGammaZX]

Hello guys, I'm in the works of seriously making an RPG. It's pretty much going to be my first RPG that I'll pick up. I've in the past tinkered with the game engine RPG Maker VX Ace but never really got deeply into it. I'm no programmer of any sorts so I'm going to use whatever the engine has to offer with the use of other peoples scripts. No, I am not going to edit the scripts whatsoever. I'm going to give credit to what ever script I'm going to use because they deserve the recognition. I would like ANY suggestion given to me to make my game work for the general public. I hate to say this but I'm not going to add any hentai scenes in my game. I'm not an artist. I can draw okay, but not enough to please the eyes of fellow gamers. I do have a friend that can draw, but I'm not going to ask her to draw those scenes. I may ask her to draw a few things like the title screen but nothing too major. So, with my characters I'm going to use the Character Generator already built inside of the engine, but I'm going to use different faces for different emotions. I'm hoping to make this game as long as I can (hopefully between 20-40 hours). I'm going to try to make side quests and even easter eggs with it as well. I'm going to try to make an optional boss or two and maybe a secret dungeon. It's going to take me a while to make this game since I'll be doing this alone and that I work full-time and fixing to be a full-time student as well. Another reason why it's going to take me awhile is that I'm testing my events to make sure that it pleases me to the best of my ability. I'll try to make a demo of the game as soon as I can but as of now, I only have 2 flashbacks made (only 1 is viewable in triggers), 2 houses made, a handful of NPCs to talk to, and barely the first town created. I'm going to use different music from different games into this one, but I'm going to "remix" them to give them a different feel to them. I'm also going to try to voice act all my male characters and maybe the female characters if I can use a program to make my voice sound feminine.

What to expect

-A Great Story
-Hopefully 20-40 Hours Of Gameplay
-Easter Eggs And Secret Bosses/Dungeons
-A Connection Between Characters

The Story

The story is mainly about two best friends going out on a journey to help one of them get revenge on the main villain (I know that's cliche but I hope you will enjoy it anyways). They later meet two girls that eventually join the party to help them defeat the evil that plagues the land.

The Characters

Asher

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He is the main character of the story. He is the one seeking revenge on the evil this in this game. He had a rough life because of this evil, and he finally has the chance to go out in the world and seek what he truly desires. He is short tempered and cold hearted. He is cold hearted because he's afraid to lose anyone that is close to him so he tends to push people away instead of pulling them in. He doesn't like any bullshit, and he will tell you quick fast and a hurry if you try to give him any. He is part of a race called "Daemons" which are Half-Human, Half-Demon. They stand out amongst the people with their red hair and red eyes. He doesn't care what you think about him because he had enough hardships in life so he doesn't care.

Zayner

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He is Asher's only friend from childhood. Zayner likes to joke and kid around and sometimes too much. Asher wouldn't hesitate to tell him to shut up. Zayner was always a problem child and tends to always get into trouble and spend a night or two in jail. He is carefree and likes to sleep outside. He's a flirt so he will try his luck with the girls. He's not always lucky with them which he says the wrong thing to them and either gets slapped or even kick in the shin. When Zayner first met Asher, he knew Asher was different, but he never treated Asher different. Asher acknowledged this in Zayner and allowed him into his life.

Ad'Dier

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She is a girl that is met later in the game they ultimately helps. She is the White Mage of the group and she'll be needed since every game need one. I haven't had much time to think of how she is going to join the party or her whole story but that'll come around whenever I can.

Sakura

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She is part of the "cat girl" species. I don't have much of her either other than Asher saving her life and her always calling him "Onii-Chan" which is Big Brother in Japanese. She will eventually start to soften Asher's heart on the way he acts. She's going to play an important role since I've made her into a Black Mage.

Keles

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He is the main villain of the story. He was imprisoned by Asher's parents, but he escaped and started to created chaos once again. That's the only thing I have on him at the moment. I'll add more to him when the story progresses.


I hope you guys will want to play this game and provide the feedback I need to make this game better. Let me know of what you think so far. If y'all want, I can add the game; however, it's only going to be a VERY short demo not even 5 minutes.

[BlueLight]

I understand this text is draft for the general idea of the characters but i found it poorly written, and it's linear. You're very matter a fact about things. Since this is a rpg may i suggest you be a little bit more lose on it. For instance what if i playing asher don't get to sakura-chan.

Then the story might be different to a degree. Nothing wrong with a linear story i just know something mor advance is possible.

[AlphaGammaZX]

Yeah I know it sounds linear, but I just thought of this story so it's still under development. With Sakura, I might just make it to were you will have to have her in order to progress in the story. Like I said, I'm still in the works of the story. I might later just change the name of the game if I think of something better. One time I thought about making it to where you can play either as Asher or Zayner, but I didn't think the story would be as good if you play as Zayner since the main plot is about Asher getting revenge on Keles.

[OmegaScales]

I have already formed an opinion from what you have: "Meh."
I'm not saying it's a bad idea, just that it sounds too overused. If I may, I'd like to offer some more original ideas that still represent the same story concept.
For example, as you said, Asher tries to push people away so he doesn't hurt them. That is not cold hearted. He could simply be trying not to show the sympathy and kindness he actually has, so others don't get caught up in his problems. Sakura, as you said she'd soften his heart, would only need to keep encouraging him to act on his true feelings.

Also, I have an idea for Sakura joining up:

Spoiler (click to show/hide):

After the last foe falls, Sakura runs over, hugs Asher, and says, "Thank you, carissimi!" (carissimi means "dear friends" or "beloved" in Latin)
"Ah... Um, sure. Whatever. Just be more careful... Could you let go so I can be on my way?" He says, trying to wiggle out of her grip.
"Hey," Zayner interjects, "you can't just push such a divine beauty away. May I ask for your name, O goddess?" Ad'dier rolls her eyes and sighs.
"Ah, my name is Sakura. May I ask the names of my saviors, carissimi?" She says, still clinging to Asher.
Zayner responds, pointing to everyone in turn. "Asher, Zayner, Ad'dier. Um... does carsis... carmis... ca-"
"Oh, carissimi? I don't think it has a translation in the human language..." She finally lets go of Asher and rests her hand/paw on her chin. "If I had to guess, I'd say it could mean... family. No, closer than family. Someone who would give just about anything to protect you and vice versa."
Asher looks away. "It wasn't like that. We happened to be heading this way and fought off those monsters. Saving you was just a coincidence."
"Mmmm... Your words may lie, but your eyes and your scent don't. You were honestly fighting to save me. I could tell," she says, hugging him from behind.
"Uh, scent?" Asher says, trying once again to escape her grip.
"We Felinids, "Cat-people" as you might calls us, may not have as good noses as the Caninids, the "Dog-people", but it's still better than a human's... or demon's. So-"
"We'll take you to the nearest town," Asher says.
"But, I want-"
"No. We don't have time for-"
Moving to depart, one of the supposedly defeated creatures suddenly lunges at Ad'dier. Sakura pushes her aside and a blast of lightning escapes her outstretched hand, knocking it back and killing it. Everyone is silent for a few seconds.
"... So, who needed saving from a pack of monsters?" Zayner asks.
"Um... it's kind of embarrassing... when I got to this continent, I was so scared that I couldn't control my magic... plus i'm kinda weak to begin with... So, uh, can I... Can I please come with you, carissimi?"

If you are willing to listen to more of my ideas, please say so. I haven't been able to get much done on my own game lately, but I still get bursts of inspiration for other things, like this.

[AlphaGammaZX]

Yeah that sounds what I was going for; however, I know I didn't mention that Sakura is going to be 11-13ish so I wouldn't want Zayner flirting with her but he might anyways. Like I said I haven't fully developed the story. Asher would say, "Get off of me!" And walk away from her. Zayner would just remind Sakura that he's still not use to it but she would cling on to him and burry her face in his chest. Asher would then just look down and then away and pay her head. But I'm glad for the opinion. I need all the help I need to make this story polished. I'm going to try to make the characters grow with each other. But do please give me all the insite you can offer. I'll take it to heart.

[OmegaScales]

11-13 could be quite mature for a Cat-person, so Zayner would probably not realize how old she is and try to hit on her. A female domesticated cat has an average life expectancy of around 13-16 years; in my mind I'd give a Cat-girl 2-2.5 times that, but I'm not quite sure about your intentions.
I do really think the "catgirl (or anyone) calling someone Onii-chan" has been done to death. I'd highly suggest using carissimi or something similar.
Next, about Keles:

Spoiler (click to show/hide):

Asher lived in a human-demon village where a random draw once a year would decide which family's turn it was to strengthen the seal on Keles's prison. Asher's parents had brought him along the first time they were chosen, around when he was 7. About 5 years later they are chosen again, but Keles breaks out, killing Asher's parents. He looks at Asher, who is frozen in fear, but leaves him, killing everyone else in the village. Asher finally gets the courage to run after Keles, who simply slashes at his face. Being half-demon, he doesn't die from such a wound, but it does leave a scar.

[AlphaGammaZX]

I think we pretty much almost think alike LoL. I've had that idea from the gitgo. I don't want to give the reason why Asher's parents are at where Keles' seal since it's important. I was aiming at a Daemon being an outcast race and that many people wouldn't think twice to turn their back on them. I was thinking of cat people to live as long as humans since I don't see a difference other than what they look like. I may put that the cat people have "cat years" (like dog years) and that they have their customs that they have celebrate in recognition. Or I can but it like she's only half and half like Asher and that's why he decided to save her because vigilantly humans were trying to "cleanse" the world of half blooded people. I think I should add the short demo on here to just let you have a taste of what's going on so you can see where I'm going. I don't have the "first mission" done yet but I have the flash back of what happened to Asher's parents.

[OmegaScales]

Try not to update the original post until you get at least ten approved posts, or the topic will disappear for a while.

There are a few things I've seen too much of in regards to villain-hero relationships: blood-relation to the villain; related to the person who sealed the villain; it is the hero's/hero's relative's/master's/student's fault the villain escaped; it is the hero's duty; the villain escapes when something new occurs.
If you can think of some other way to incorporate Keles's escape and relation to Asher, feel free to do that. I'm just offering one possibility.
And in regards to my thought process, I'm trying my best to stay faithful to the story I've pieced together. There are actually some quite different things I would do, personally.

Related information: "Daemons are benevolent or benign nature spirits, beings of the same nature as both mortals and gods, similar to ghosts, chthonic heroes, spirit guides, forces of nature or the gods themselves". Feel free to do with it as you please.

[AlphaGammaZX]

Yeah I mean I know what the relation is between the hero and villain and how he came to be. That's why I was going to post a small demo just to show you in a flashback how that story unfolded so it's understandable between the hero and villain. I'm working on the first mission now. I got it set up to where you need to go but the mission is not ready. I have a somewhat idea of how I want the world map to be but I'm not sure how to make it if you know what I mean.

[AlphaGammaZX]

Sorry for the late update. I haven't had any time working on my RPG because I've been trying to get some college stuff out of the way. The only way how I would add hentai scenes in my game is if someone else draws up the scenes. I'll add them to a scene and go on from there. I don't have great drawing skills but if someone wants to participate in drawing the scenes, I'll add them to the game.