Pressia | A LOK Forums Original Novel | by AMJ

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Re: Pressia| A LOK Forums Original Novel | FINISHED 9-6-2013

Postby axmanjack » Fri Jun 21, 2013 11:53 pm

tadpole92 Wrote:Wow. So I discovered this little gem WAY too late and read the entire thing in about three days. This was an amazing story - definitely not something I would have expected to find here. This was a seriously great story and I want to thank you for making it. I hope to see more stories by you sometime in the future! Also, axmanjack, (and I don't know if this was mentioned in earlier posts or not), but there's a site by the name of Literotica.com where authors such as yourself can post stories that they make. Often times they have erotic elements to them, but it's not a requirement. If you ever decide to write more and, for whatever reason, don't want to post it here then Literotica is a great alternative. Just my 2 cents, but I think you would be really popular there as you are here. Anyways, thanks again for such a great story!


Thanks a lot for the positive feedback!
It's always great to hear somebody likes my stuff.
I'll definitely give Literotica a look.
-AMJ
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Re: Pressia| A LOK Forums Original Novel | FINISHED 9-6-2013

Postby axmanjack » Sun Jul 14, 2013 8:29 am

100 of 1000 votes, lol, you guys are making progress!
Seriously though, I'm just keeping that up there as an indicator of interest in the next project I'm' going to launch, another CYOA narrative that I'm planning (tentatively) on starting in January or February of 2014. Keep an eye on this thread, because I'm probably going to be posting teaser samples and some early concepts over the next few months.
As far as Pressia is concerned, I'm going to begin working on the great edit of 2013 sometime before the end of summer, and I'll probably upload some of the reworked actions here just because I love you guys so much. I've been poking around here and there to figure out how I might make some money off of this thing, and thanks to some helpful suggestions from 4chan's /lit/ section, I've decided to self publish after I've got a handle on the edited version and hopefully bring Pressia to wider audience.
Additionally, after some prodding by NamelessSynthetic, I'm going to work on a non-canon 'alternate ending' that I'll be sharing with some of my oldest readers and including in the published digital version.
Hopefully all of this goes according to plan.
Love y'all,
-AMJ

PS: All of you Role Players out there, look forward to the game I'm planning on running in early to late fall, Seven In The Maze.
It's gonna be interesting to say the least.
:D
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Re: Pressia| A LOK Forums Original Novel | FINISHED 9-6-2013

Postby axmanjack » Mon Jul 15, 2013 8:11 am

Sorry for not mentioning this, but my RPG (which I'll be running similarly to, but not quite the same as a D&D game with a dungeon master and all) will require 7 primary role players (the 7 in the maze) and 7 spotters (an immobile class that provides their player class with 'real time' data on what's going on around them but can be killed in game). Obviously, people who show an interest this early on and have a strong presence on LOK will have precedence for spots, but the real kicker is that the spotter for the specific player will be chosen by the player alone. Players that don't have a spotter selected by the start of game will be assigned whomever volunteers to spot for them. Regardless, anybody that wants to be involved in this when it starts should say so now, I'd love to have a roster before I start mapping out the last half of the game.
Also, this is going to be significantly more sexually intense (because I intend to what my players' carnal desires as a major motivator) than Pressia, or anything I've written thus far.
If you want a part of this, let me know, either by posting in this thread or by messaging me directly.
As always, love ya'll,
-AMJ
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Re: Pressia| A LOK Forums Original Novel | FINISHED 9-6-2013

Postby Eumel2 » Thu Jul 18, 2013 9:08 pm

im totally in if you will have me :)
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Re: Pressia| A LOK Forums Original Novel | FINISHED 9-6-2013

Postby axmanjack » Mon Jul 22, 2013 4:07 am

You're in!
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Re: Pressia| A LOK Forums Original Novel | FINISHED 9-6-2013

Postby NamelessSynthetic » Sat Aug 17, 2013 7:26 am

Baww, still waiting around :c
The question isn't whether how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, but rather how much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could indeed chuck wood. Those woodchucks are lazy bastards.
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Re: Pressia| A LOK Forums Original Novel | FINISHED 9-6-2013

Postby axmanjack » Tue Oct 15, 2013 2:38 am

Update:
Sorry for everybody who was waiting for the new projects to start. Unfortunately, I haven't had any time to work on them after the start of the semester.
Keep an eye out for me to start the new thing sometime after I get a job in January.
Stay frosty,
-AMJ
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Re: Pressia| A LOK Forums Original Novel | FINISHED 9-6-2013

Postby 4access69 » Thu Oct 17, 2013 8:11 pm

I read the story and it was awesome.

Since it was hard to pull away from the story I was annoyed by having to hunt for pieces of it through the thread so I copy/pasted all of it into a .RTF file.

I am attaching it here, hoping that the author won't mind, and that someone might appreciate having an easier way to read it all.
Pressia by axmanjack.rtf
Pressia by axmanjack
(539.49 KiB) Downloaded 66 times


If he does mind, please feel free to remove the attachment.
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Re: Pressia| A LOK Forums Original Novel | FINISHED 9-6-2013

Postby [Brand_Name] » Fri Oct 18, 2013 12:49 am

... How the hell have I missed this? After binging on the first six chapters, I can say that your writing is undoubtably the best here on LoK. I'd been considering a project like this for a long time, but I just didn't have the kahones to actually go through with it. I'm glad that LoK is lucky enough to have you and this magnificent tale. Regarding your role play, I'd love nothing more than to participate- and as a senior currently writing college apps... I know your feels brah. Good luck, and I hope to see you on the rp forum soon!
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Re: Pressia| A LOK Forums Original Novel | FINISHED 9-6-2013

Postby axmanjack » Sat Oct 19, 2013 7:26 pm

4access69 Wrote:I read the story and it was awesome.

Since it was hard to pull away from the story I was annoyed by having to hunt for pieces of it through the thread so I copy/pasted all of it into a .RTF file.

I am attaching it here, hoping that the author won't mind, and that someone might appreciate having an easier way to read it all.
Pressia by axmanjack.rtf


If he does mind, please feel free to remove the attachment.


Yes, that is totally cool with me and, if it's cool with you, I'm going to add that link to the front page of this thread when I get a second.
[Brand_Name] Wrote:... How the hell have I missed this? After binging on the first six chapters, I can say that your writing is undoubtably the best here on LoK. I'd been considering a project like this for a long time, but I just didn't have the kahones to actually go through with it. I'm glad that LoK is lucky enough to have you and this magnificent tale. Regarding your role play, I'd love nothing more than to participate- and as a senior currently writing college apps... I know your feels brah. Good luck, and I hope to see you on the rp forum soon!


Thanks for the positive feedback! I'm not here anywhere near often enough, but it makes a big difference to come back and find that more people have picked up "Pressia" and liked it.
You guys are all great, and I'm making a real effort to start the RP as soon as I have enough time. It's going to be an week by week thing, so I'm going to need a good deal of planning and execution time.
I've been considering a "sequel," of sorts, to "Pressia" for a while now, and the next writing project I start (after the [non-pornographic] novel I'm working on under my own name) will very likely be set in that universe. I doubt I'll bring in characters from the last novel to any significant degree, because I'm planning on it being a mystery CYOA with a small, selective cast of about 30 characters. Don't quote me on that.
Before I finish any of this stuff though, I've still got to edit Pressia, which means hundreds of sheets of paper and a few dead red pens. That version is going to be uploaded to literotica and sent to a few close fans who've been with me through this whole thing.
Sorry I haven't got any new content to show at the moment, but I assure you, what comes next is going to blow "Pressia" out of the water.
Much love,
-AMJ
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Re: Pressia| A LOK Forums Original Novel | FINISHED 9-6-2013

Postby thealchemist » Mon Oct 21, 2013 12:24 am

axmanjack Wrote: but I assure you, what comes next is going to blow "Pressia" out of the water.
Much love,
-AMJ

Them be fighting words boy. Lets see if you can put them to do test. And I have just realized something.... I have been calling this series Persia the whole time....
R.I.P Whores of the Old Republic
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Re: Pressia| A LOK Forums Original Novel | FINISHED 9-6-2013

Postby Eumel2 » Sat Oct 26, 2013 1:08 pm

the novel you are whriting right now, what is it called?
and when will it be out?
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Re: Pressia| A LOK Forums Original Novel | FINISHED 9-6-2013

Postby axmanjack » Thu Oct 31, 2013 6:09 am

Eumel2 Wrote:the novel you are whriting right now, what is it called?
and when will it be out?


The working title is "Horrible People," and I'm not sure when I'll be finished with it.
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Re: Pressia| A LOK Forums Original Novel | FINISHED 9-6-2013

Postby NamelessSynthetic » Fri Nov 15, 2013 6:48 pm

Looking forward to reading it if you decide to publish it, also can't wait for the edited version of this to come out!
The question isn't whether how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, but rather how much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could indeed chuck wood. Those woodchucks are lazy bastards.
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Re: Story Time With axmanjack

Postby axmanjack » Fri Dec 06, 2013 8:40 am

Here's the first bit of a new story I'm starting.
The idea kind of just came to me in a rush, and I'm suspending all other ongoing projects to work on it.
Also, I'm graduating this week, so I'll have plenty of time to write now.
Neat, huh?
I'll be posting the first "link" soon, it should be done this weekend, and maybe tomorrow.
-AMJ

Steam: Prologue

Spoiler (click to show/hide):

Prologue


Sylvia dug her feet into the sand, trying to push herself up far enough under the burning sheet of metal that she wouldn’t be seen. The air was on fire. The sky was scorched, soot-black and snowing bits of gray ash that collected here and there in powdery drifts. Her broken right arm still clutched the grip of a ruined revolver, but she couldn’t force her hand to open. The arm was numb. Her mouth tasted like blood.
Amid the screams and wrenching crackle of metal burning for miles down the track behind her, Sylvia could hear the footsteps of searchers outside of her hidey-hole. She held her breath and counted the seconds. Foreign voices, male. The screech of something dying. Ice cold mountain wind howling through the shattered remnants of railcar. A pair of booted feet moved into view.
Her terrified mind drank in every detail, stretched every rotten second into an hour. The boots were made of thick, brown leather, well-worn and streaked black and grey from the accumulating ash. Woven cotton thongs interlaced up their fronts, crisscrossing at hard angles up through iron eyelets polished silver from constant friction. Riveted steel plates hung like dragon scales on spats above the boots, and, beneath them, heavy, red uniform pants. The owner of the boots turned his feet to face her.
The world seemed so quiet. She could feel the sting of every cold, raspy breath, could hear it vibrating through her chest. Her numb, broken arm began to shake, rattling the bent barrel of the revolver against the ground. Sylvia grabbed her wrist with her good hand and pulled hard. Pins and needles became daggers and spears in the bad arm, razors blades against her frail nerves that made her mind sway. Another rasping breath. Another. Another. The boots don’t move.
Sylvia blinks back tears of helpless frustration. Just do it you bastard, God damn you, just do it. Her nose was running, but she didn’t notice. How was it so quiet? A gloved hand, tooled to match the boots, reached down and wrapped its fingers around the edge of the bit of metal shielding. Sylvia’s body tensed. Her mind went black. The hand pulled her shelter up and away from her. She screamed and tried to swing the revolver around to bear, but her dumb arm ignored the command.
One of the boots flew forward in an arc, connecting with her jaw and sending her sprawling. She came to with it pressing down hard on her bad arm, and watched as the gloved hand pried the gun from her fingers and tossed it aside. Somebody grabbed her by the back of her neck, his grip nearly encircling her throat, and she was pulled to her feet. A single, gruff command and a sharp jab to her lower back.
“Walk.”
Sylvia nodded and complied. Her eyes wandered. Red-cloaked figures moved like phantoms through the white, steaming mists of the smoldering wreckage. They picked through the ruins, noiselessly going about their work as the night winds and the wounded survivors screamed around them. The railcar had derailed in the saddle between two mountains, and now lay bundled up and twisted over itself like a section of discarded intestine. Her captor moved her past a stack of bodies, all in white uniforms. The Imperium escort detail that had been sent along with the railcar.
Sylvia’s escort led her to the end of a line of other prisoners, some too wounded even to kneel, and forced her down beside them. She looked down the row, catching the frightened eyes of a few people she knew. Some of them cried, and others just stared out into the wreckage, waiting for what they knew was coming.
“No… please, no,” begged some pitiful voice from the other side of the line. Sylvia looked down to see Berthold, the assistant quartermaster, being drug away. “No, no!” She felt the entire line flinch when the gunshot rang out, quieting Berthold. A woman in the line began to cry.
A rough hand grabbed her by the hair and yanked her to her feet, and Sylvia found herself muttering the same, pitiful pleas. God she wanted to die with some dignity, but her legs gave out beneath her and she was dragged the rest of the way by her scalp and dropped before another pair of boots. She sobbed, curling around her wounded arm and not bothering to wipe the mess of tears, snot and soot from her face. The hand in her hair forced her to face forward.
“Hello,” the man before her said in Caanish, the language of the mid-westerners. He was a large, grey-haired man, with a dour, bored expression and the weatherworn face of a lifelong outdoorsman. His gaze was unavoidable, and she couldn’t break eye contact with him. “Do you speak a real language?” Sylvia hesitated, confused, and he waved a hand at the man holding her hair. He began dragging her away when she found her voice.
“Yes,” she said, her words cracking on the ice in her throat. “Yes!” She screamed the second time, and the grey-haired man held up a halting hand.
“I am Colonel Foucault, commander of first mountaineers, third regiment. Who are you?” With a nod of his head the hand in her hair released her, letting her fall on her butt. She had to swallow a few times before continuing.
“Sy-Sylvia Messerschmitt, sir, I—“ Sylvia swallowed again. Her left leg shook so bad it made her rock back and forth. “I am… I am the… Steam Trainer, a Steam Trainer, for the Compton Electrical and Locomotive Union. I’m… a civilian sir, please, I don’t want to die.”
“Nobody wants to die, Sylvia Messerschmitt of the Compton Electrical and Locomotive Union,” Foucault said. He gestured to the soldier behind her and, with a complicated series of hand gestures, to the row of prisoners. Tears streamed down her face as the soldiers began systematically executing the prisoners. “Thank your God that you are useful to me. You will see the sun rise today.” Sylvia sucked breath into her lungs, forcing herself to breathe through the tears.
“Thank you,” she said. A stream of blood began moving down the hill, cutting a path through the ash. Its tributaries grew with every gunshot, thickening the stream into a river that plunged, hot and steaming, ever westward. The soldier helped Sylvia to her feet, a bit more easily this time. “Thank you.”
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Re: Story Time With axmanjack

Postby [Brand_Name] » Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:10 am

Lord above that's good writing... Congrats on graduating.

Question... Will there be sexy time in Steam?
Peace & Light
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Re: Story Time With axmanjack

Postby axmanjack » Sat Dec 07, 2013 8:10 pm

[Brand_Name] Wrote:Lord above that's good writing... Congrats on graduating.

Question... Will there be sexy time in Steam?


Thanks a bunch!

And yes, there will be sexy time in Steam, but there is going to be a stronger focus on relationships than in Pressia.
Basically, where Pressia was a ROR game in written form, Steam will unfold more like an eroge light novel.
There are two main characters, coincidentally both female, and audience interaction will play direct and indirect factors in whom they ultimately hook up with.
Pressia concerned itself with very violent, masculine interpretations of sex, and I want Steam to play to the softer, feminine aspects.
This is by no means going to be some limp-wristed love novel. Shit is going to get very real.
But after the buildup, when you finally get to the sex,
things are going to get...
Steamy.

Thanks, as always, for reading.
I'm going to try to have the first chapter out by tomorrow night.
Don't forget, beloved readers, comments make me write faster.
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Re: Story Time With axmanjack

Postby axmanjack » Mon Dec 09, 2013 2:38 am

Looks like I'm going to have to push back the first chapter a bit, I ran into some tonal error and deleted a bunch of stuff.
Sorry.
-AMJ
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Re: Story Time With axmanjack

Postby That_One_Guy » Mon Dec 09, 2013 5:16 am

Seeing your writing here makes me want to post my novel-in-progress here and see what people think about it. I'll have to think about that myself.
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Re: Story Time With axmanjack

Postby NamelessSynthetic » Mon Dec 16, 2013 2:12 am

That_One_Guy Wrote:Seeing your writing here makes me want to post my novel-in-progress here and see what people think about it. I'll have to think about that myself.

Do it. Do iiiiiiit.
The question isn't whether how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, but rather how much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could indeed chuck wood. Those woodchucks are lazy bastards.
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