Yu-Gi-Oh: Cards Of Desire - (Last Edited 17 Jan 2012)

[Zeus Kabob]

Ugh. I can't edit .swfs. That's an issue.

I will give a little criticism. The femur length seems about right on (similar length to torso), but the shin length seems way off. The shin should be a similar length to the femur, but yours seems to be almost 50% longer. Shorten the shin, possibly shorten the foot, and your proportions should be right.

As for the rest, I've gotta complain about the hair. I appreciate that you're copying a character who has long hair, but I think that the "frozen during movement" look for long hair is less than satisfactory. If you were to give her a haircut, I think it would look less "frozen".

Hands are a little wonky. As I can't draw hands, I can't give you advice. Maybe look at an online hand tutorial?

Some more detail would be nice. Shadows, fold marks (such as on the left elbow), and maybe some miscellaneous details would be nice.

Now onto the breasts: They seem to be a little too "balloon" for me. One quick thing would be to experiment with the circular outline width, as in make the outline stop higher up, instead of having it continue until under her breast. In general, the breasts on this forum seem a bit wonky, but that probably has a good reason (it has to be its own part or something...).

[Thaedael]

@Hairmetalisgod;

viewtopic.php?f=28&t=1855&p=73035#p73035

Just so you know. I would wait until you have 11+ before editing the OP, that way other people don't freak out about your thread disappearing when it goes into moderation que again.

[zferolie]

@Hairmetalisgod;

viewtopic.php?f=28&t=1855&p=73035#p73035

Just so you know. I would wait until you have 11+ before editing the OP, that way other people don't freak out about your thread disappearing when it goes into moderation que again.

Ah, so thats why It disappeared.

Anyway, you are improving bit by bit. The hand looks pretty good, at least the one doing the hand job. It does look a lot better then the original. Before I fully judge I need to see the whole thing moving together, but right now it's solid.

Also, Dark Magician Girl better be in this. Hottest card ever.

[HairMetalIsGod]

Zeus Kabob, thanks for all the advice on changes, i've taken most of it on board - the legs have been sorted, as have the hands. Shadows will be sorted at some point too.
I'm thinking of keeping the hair and breasts the same though - at least until they get on my nerves. The way i've done the hair is the bulk of it (the back bit) is on one layer, and then the front bit (that overlaps the rest the body) is on a separate layer. so if the static hair becomes a problem I can always try and animate the front layer using something like the bone tool (or if it comes to it alot of tweaking and tweening). The breasts don't really put me off the image yet, so i'm happy with them at the moment although i'm aware they are cartoony (but hey it's based of an anime haha)

ah, thanks Thaedal - didn't realize that, i'll update as a comment for a bit until that's thats the case

thanks zferolie, nice to hear my work reinforced - i'll do a full moving one soon. Of course she will be, still unsure what to put her in though, might do a straight sex scene with her and one of Mai's male cards (most likely harpie's brother, or may do a lesbian scene when she direct attacks Mai...may even do a futa scene involving harpie lady and dark magician girl (cyber shield on harpie lady to create sort of a strap-on). But yeah not sure which of the three to really go for, it's the only scene I haven't planned out yet :')- thoughts?

[Zeus Kabob]

Sounds good. I am excited to see what you come up with!

[demise23]

Since I'm the one who started a discussion about Yu-Gi-Oh! in the General forum, it's only right that I comment. It's nice to see that you chose to include Mai, but you should include other Yu-Gi-Oh! girls as well, and not just from the first series. No Yu-Gi-Oh! Hentai game would be complete without Akiza Izinski.

[HairMetalIsGod]

demise23 - I was toying with including more characters from the show - tea and serenity were considered (I was going to do 3 different stories from each characters perspective). The newer stuff i've not really watched alot so story wise whatever i'd include would be weak - although i'm aware some of the new girls in the anime are really hot haha. Perhaps a sequel if this animation works out? or bonus scenes at the end of the story haha

I was however planning on making something pokemon based after this but I definitely want that to be a game, so I need my scripting to be up to scratch for that - if it's not when i finish this then I may well do a sequel or something very similar

[HairMetalIsGod]

Hey Guys - can't update the main thing until i've posted a few more times, so here's a minor update.
Been playing about with shadows on the model and would just like to get some thoughts as to which of these shades of shadow looks the best, and if there's any unshaded areas that could use shadow

[BlueLight]

I like the right 2 the most with the flesh like shawdow but the legs look like they have to strong of a shade.

[Rooiehaan #2]

To be quite honest, its pretty hard for me to see the difference, when the size of the torso is bugging me so much.
Could you... possibly~ perhaps~ grab everything above the skirt, and inflate is a bit so it fits neatly with the skirt? right now the legs are too long in comparison (in my eyes anyways)

[Lucky777]

I like the rightmost one.

Also, dude, I don't know what it is, but something is SERIOUSLY wrong with her hips.

Or if not anatomically the "hips", then definitely somewhere in the connection between the bottom of her torso and the top of her legs. Maybe the hip on the left side of our screens is just too pointy, maybe it's something else. Should probably look at a few models or references to try to get at that.

[Rooiehaan #2]

I think my comment would fix that; that was also what bugged me

[zferolie]

thanks zferolie, nice to hear my work reinforced - i'll do a full moving one soon. Of course she will be, still unsure what to put her in though, might do a straight sex scene with her and one of Mai's male cards (most likely harpie's brother, or may do a lesbian scene when she direct attacks Mai...may even do a futa scene involving harpie lady and dark magician girl (cyber shield on harpie lady to create sort of a strap-on). But yeah not sure which of the three to really go for, it's the only scene I haven't planned out yet :')- thoughts?

Well, I like all the ideas myself. Pick which one you really want to do man, and I will enjoy it. personally the last 2 I prefer abit more, since more lesbian scenes the better.

[HairMetalIsGod]

I've had a mess around with the torso - made it a little bit bigger, and smoothed out the almost jagged point at the hip. Hopefully it's a bit better now

As far as the leg shading goes, i've lessened the amount of shading actually on the leg - but it is the same shade of colour as all the rest of the shading (might look stronger in contrast to the purples of the skirt and boots)

Going to create another sprite soon, and then i'll have a crack at doing a full moving animation - probably her bent over something - so you can see what the movements like, i'm hoping I can get it all smooth so that it can go right into the full animation when I have it - but i'll let you guys judge that

zferolie, I'm thinking i'll put in two scenes for her instead of just the one, one will be a lesbian/futa scene with harpie lady and the other will be a straight scene with one of Harpie's Brother I think

[Rooiehaan #2]

A lot better, i really like how you managed to fix it
i'd love to see you put her to action, and to see what kind of things you have in store for us

[Lucky777]

I'm not sure it's perfect, but it's certainly a LOT better. Good call, bro.

[zferolie]

She's looking better and better every time. Good job!

And I like the idea of 2 scenes. You can't have enough DMG hehehe

[Aaleen13]

might even have a 3 way, futa or not, with mai, harpy, and brother

[HairMetalIsGod]

Certainly not - Dark Magician Girl is always good!

another three-way might be overkill, Mai already gets double-teamed twice in my plan under pretty different circumstances - but an FFM threesome might be good, i'll have to find a way to make Mai/Harpie/Brother work in the story - but it's something i'll definitely consider

Also thrown together a Rex Raptor sprite (part of one of the double-teams)
But here's a little teaser of a scene in the works - I know it's put together a little iffy in places (especially rex's oversized head and really odd face haha). Enjoy!

[zferolie]

oh god, his face is hilarious. In a good way