Eat the Baby.

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Eat the Baby.

Postby Mashugana » Fri Nov 23, 2018 7:32 am

Overpopulation is a serious issue facing many parts of the world, notably nations like India and China but also in Japan, parts of the US and even the greatest of nations, our dear Democratic Republic of North Korea with it's glorious god emperor faces such a crisis. In many of these nations, the population density is so bad that people live in almost sardine like conditions, and food is scarce. They live their lives in poverty as ever decreasing natural resources are consumed to feed the masses, even as they churn out ever more members of our species in a tide that will only end when we have devoured all life on this planet like the over sized, glorified locusts we are.

There is only one solution to this issue.

Eat the baby.

I propose that for every two babies born, one baby must be consumed. It doesn't matter how really, only that it does. This can assist in multiple ways.

One: It obviously reduces population growth, and thus will aid in decreasing population density.

Two: The consumption of babies will allow for a new type of food in the market, assisting populations who may have difficulty acquiring food under normal conditions.

Three: certain prion diseases can spread via cannibalism, this will further help to decrease the population, eventually allowing human population levels to reach manageable levels, increase the quality of life, and allow the medical industry to achieve new heights.

Four: We can even use babies as fertilizer for crops. Ground baby will be an excellent addition to standard fertilizers, and will likely increase crop yields.

I hope that this will prove to be a fruitful discussion on baby based products, and am looking forward to responses and ideas on how we can better improve our world through the use of babies as industrial resources.

Thank you.
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Re: Eat the Baby.

Postby Lynxy » Wed Jan 09, 2019 7:25 am

I see you have A Modest Proposal For preventing the Children of Poor People From being a Burthen to Their Parents or Country, and For making them Beneficial to the Publick. Good on ya, mate.

A couple small little things, though. Hardly worth mentioning, really, but humor me whilst I entertain myself nonetheless.

One. Condoms also reduce population growth, with the added bonuses of reducing STI transmission rates, having significantly fewer complications and monetary costs, and being less psychologically traumatic than delivering children directly into sausage grinders

Two. Humans are a resource intensive crop to grow, and those materials would be better spent on almost anything else if our goal is to produce food. This plan is wasting a lot of money.

Three. Prions kill slowly, and the afflicted are often a significant problem for both themselves and those around them before they go as they lose the ability to react rationally and perform routine tasks unassisted. No ones quality of life is improved by the spreading of disease.

Furthermore, the young are the most statistically unlikely group from which to obtain prions because they have not had sufficient time to form and accumulate many, if any, of the relevant misfolded proteins.

Four. Once again, humans are a particularity costly form of life to produce with an unexceptional nutritional content. Given the same budget for fertilizer, the use of baby can only reduce yields by reducing the amount that can be purchased. Once again, we would be better off using almost any other source of material.

There is no discussion to be had. The idea is wasteful in the extreme before we even begin to consider the ethical questions. If babies are to be used as an industrial resource then the minimum cost effective option is to raise them as unskilled labor at which point you're basically reinstating slavery and dragging down the worldwide quality of life rather than improving it.

In summary, go be a half-baked edgelord elsewhere.
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Re: Eat the Baby.

Postby Mashugana » Wed Jan 09, 2019 6:31 pm

nou
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Re: Eat the Baby.

Postby BrokenTorpedo » Fri Jan 18, 2019 5:25 pm

I know this is more of a joke, but Japan and parts of the US? Nah.
Japan has been suffered from declining fertility rates for at least a decade now, their problem is really the other way around.
As to "parts of the US", USA is about the same size as India and China (not counting Alaska). It now has about 320 million people, India and China both have over 1 Billion, 3-4 times more than US.

And about food supply, the world as a whole now actual has the problem of the overproduction of food.
The problem is in the distribution, I don't think adding unwanted infant into the mix would really change anything.
Also preventing baby be made in the first place is way more productive.

Sorry, if I just killed the joke.
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