AceSV's Real-as-Fuck Animals
Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2016 3:55 am
So, I'm a guy who likes animals, even the ones I'm not allowed to fuck. I love learning about new kinds of animals, and some of the animals I find make me think, "really? REALLY???" Here are a few such animals.
Tonight I'd like to share with you two amazing members of the Uroplatus genus, or Madagascar leaf-tail geckos.
First, the Uroplatus fimbriatus, giant leaf-tail gecko:
The giant leaf-tail gecko tries to hide by looking like the trunk of a tree. If that fails, it will deter attackers by opening its mouth and staring into their souls with its fucking crazy eyes and screaming at the top of its lungs. The actual lizard is no bigger than a squirrel, and not venomous or anything, but if you were trying to eat it, you might stop to think "hmm, maybe not". The giant crazy eye leaf-tail gecko is nocturnal and its eyes are 350 fucking times more sensitive to light than human eyes, allowing it to see colors perfectly in the dark. And as a diapsid, it can see more colors than mammals can.
Next is the Giant leaf-tailed gecko's cousin, Uroplatus phantasticus, the Satanic leaf-tailed gecko.
Most Uroplatus phantasticus are camouflaged to look like leaves, but some of them are are camouflaged to look like crazy batshit demon things. Like their cousin, they are nocturnal, so if you happen to be spending the night in Madascar and find a 5 in long crazy batshit demon thing in your bed, don't worry, it's just a Satanic leaf-tailed gecko.
This has been Ace the Super Villain's Real-as-Fuck-Animals. Tune in next time as I ask the question, "really? REALLY???"
Tonight I'd like to share with you two amazing members of the Uroplatus genus, or Madagascar leaf-tail geckos.
First, the Uroplatus fimbriatus, giant leaf-tail gecko:
Spoiler (click to show/hide):
The giant leaf-tail gecko tries to hide by looking like the trunk of a tree. If that fails, it will deter attackers by opening its mouth and staring into their souls with its fucking crazy eyes and screaming at the top of its lungs. The actual lizard is no bigger than a squirrel, and not venomous or anything, but if you were trying to eat it, you might stop to think "hmm, maybe not". The giant crazy eye leaf-tail gecko is nocturnal and its eyes are 350 fucking times more sensitive to light than human eyes, allowing it to see colors perfectly in the dark. And as a diapsid, it can see more colors than mammals can.
Next is the Giant leaf-tailed gecko's cousin, Uroplatus phantasticus, the Satanic leaf-tailed gecko.
Spoiler (click to show/hide):
Most Uroplatus phantasticus are camouflaged to look like leaves, but some of them are are camouflaged to look like crazy batshit demon things. Like their cousin, they are nocturnal, so if you happen to be spending the night in Madascar and find a 5 in long crazy batshit demon thing in your bed, don't worry, it's just a Satanic leaf-tailed gecko.
This has been Ace the Super Villain's Real-as-Fuck-Animals. Tune in next time as I ask the question, "really? REALLY???"