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My first attempt at a semi story.
Posted:
Mon Dec 03, 2012 5:50 amby daxtinator396
http://www.hentai-foundry.com/stories/u ... -in-GardenThis is the address of my story I posted on hentai foundry that I did with a friend of mine please feel free to read and leave feedback both here and on the site! Thanks ^_^
Re: My first attempt at a semi story.
Posted:
Mon Dec 03, 2012 6:37 amby Thaedael
More details and less B-Grade porn dialogue. Formatting could use work too.
Re: My first attempt at a semi story.
Posted:
Mon Dec 03, 2012 6:42 amby daxtinator396
Thanks for the valuable input! I'll keep that in mind and we kinda just wrote this cuase we were bored but decided to post it anyway XD
Re: My first attempt at a semi story.
Posted:
Mon Dec 03, 2012 7:27 amby Thaedael
It comes across as such. Not saying you are a bad writer, but this is not the best I have seen from you. Shit like what happened between mr tophat and dax was more dramatic.
Re: My first attempt at a semi story.
Posted:
Mon Dec 03, 2012 12:59 pmby daxtinator396
Wow that actually means a lot to me
I kinda miss him sigh and we'll keep working at it thanks Thae!
Re: My first attempt at a semi story.
Posted:
Fri Dec 21, 2012 8:50 pmby CryptidChimera
I like the concept Dax. Always kind of imagined poison ivy to be in the tentacle department
but I do agree with Theadael it does seem like it was "this one time I was bored" kinda thing. But then again I'm no writer so you and your friend are miles ahead of me
Re: My first attempt at a semi story.
Posted:
Sun Jan 06, 2013 2:07 amby daxtinator396
It was basically I got bored and a friend of mine wanted to see it done so I wrote it in like 30 minutes I might go and revisit it and make it better when the mood strikes me but thanks for the compliment :3 I kinda haven't been writing much as I feel like I'm not that good of a writer lately don't know why :/