Your naps are blessedly empty of desires.. And you feel welcomed as you roll back into the town. The merchant, along with several guards, are qaiting for your arrival, and the Merchant grins and laughs as he sees you atop the caravan.
"So! You got me loot back! Or rather, the goods and services I paid for. Sorry, old adventuring habit. I used to be an adventurer like you, until me money pouch got too heavy for me to carry anymore. ... Heh, bad joke. Sorry. Anyways, take your pick of these weapons and armors, yes?"
You see.. Four items on display. One is a small sword and shield that looks to be very sharp and dangerous. The other.. Appears to be a sexual toy turned giant weapon, for possibly pleasureing yourself... Or your enemy, if they like penetration.
The armor is a mix between a tougher set of chain-mail, and a set of skimpy armory that.. Would totally reveal your middle, bust, and crotch, but would very easily let you arouse others with your body. If you'd ever want that.
Your choice is.. Your own. Pick whichever seems the best for you.
Stats:
Spoiler (click to show/hide):
Health: 20/20
Status: Normal.
Offspring: None.
An Axe, a shield, and a good fight are all y'need for a good time! That and some friends to share it with!