The Legend of Deadpool

[Lazy Kitsune]

Spoiler (click to show/hide):

Name: Wendy Flowers (Shhh! it's a secret!)
Age: 21 (wait...am i that young!?...oh yes i am!)
Abilities: -Increadible fast healing factor!...and x-rays to watch the boys!-, no, you don't have x-rays -oh come on! really? shit...-
Appearance (Hot as fuck!)

Bio: She was "shut the fuck up, i'll handle this!" a-alright "ok, before you ask, no, i have nothing to do with wade wilson, and i'm not the wade wilson of this universe, no! the wade wilson of this universe is a happy living man, instead, i was the one who took his place to become deadpool, i know all of this, because i've travel through the multiverse with this universe cable, and Earth-616 deadpool and cable" well yeah, seems about right-..."did i allow you to speak?" n-no "then don't"

"here, really quick, i was a normal girl, going to college and shit, when this huge bomb explode and shit-..." that was not how it happen! "fine, i find out that i have cancer, like earth-616 wade wilson, and i went through pretty much the same, except i was younger and wasn't fucking a hot stripper, no, i was dating a lovely guy, as the experiments went on, my powers came out really quick, and i escaped before my skin turn into a burnt fried chicken which was buried right after it was cooked...and know, i'm about to do a job" a bad job, the one that it's suppose to be the whole premise of this game "i'm getting tired of you" wait...Wendy, STOP! *shots herself*

Well, the life of a mercenary is certainly never boring. People will pay to have someone else do anything, from assassinating a foreign prince to rescuing a puppy from a tree. A lot of the time, these people tend to contact you through discrete means, leaving you unaware of the identity of the one paying you (although this doesn't normally happen in the case of rescuing a puppy... except for that one time...) . Because of this, you didn't really worry to much when your latest employer would contact you through a series of second hand letter deliveries and anonymous telephone calls and even one well hidden note at the bottom of a box of pizza. Whoever this person was, they really knew how to remain unknown. But the payment was good and the job seemed simple enough. Steal a supply of weapons and containers before they are transported to a new location. You have been given the location of the warehouse these weapons can be found and the optimum time to go to steal them, all you need to do is do the dirty work.

You arrived in the evening, just before nightfall. The sun was slowly setting over the horizon, causing the landscape to darken. You had already found your way into the warehouse the goods were at now you just had to carry out the rest of your plan. It was a very detailed plan: get into the warehouse, steal weapons, get out, go get chimichangas - you were quite impressed with how well you thought it all out. You still had the napkin you drew this plan on.

The warehouse was patrolled by guards, all of which were armed. And there was a security surveillance system operating, as cameras watched the hallways, however you were confident you had so far remained undetected. You had your eyes on one of the weapons crates up ahead, although there was a guard standing by, chewing some gum as he looked around. You could sneak around, think things over, start planning about how you could get the crates out undetected or at least fast enough so they couldn't catch you... or you could do this the fun way.

[CumInTiana01]

i raise an eyebrow and try to hold the chuckle "Wait wait wait! are you saying i have to do this the quiet way...fuck you" i whispered before popping out of nowhere and freezing in mid air "before we begin this party...did you get the pun in the tittle?" then, i fall and roll on the floor before start shooting at everyone nearby "Suprise gentlemen, i really don't want to do this, but, i'm getting paid, and, i really want to do this, so if you don't want to die, play dead, but i have to tell you, i have a thing for corpses, and not the kinky thing, i like smashing some dead heads, and not the head that keeps your brain, but the head that keeps your childs, nothing personal..." then i throw a grenade to the entrance, [rather exit now] yeah right, the exit and blow it up "awesome, emergency exit...done, killing bad guys, kinda, leaving with the goods, in process, well look at me, being responsible and making plans!" Focus goddamn it! "come on, don't spoil the fun...

Hey...check this Earth-2780 games out, i might be stealing something from some of them, but hush, don't tell me, yet

Spoiler (click to show/hide):

X-men: Ms. Time & Ms. Space
X-men: House of the Atom
Marvel: Spider-Woman (Spider-Jane)
The increadible Iron-Man
Venom

[Lazy Kitsune]

You certainly seemed to catch them by surprise, and your quick shot worked as ever, leaving all the guards on the floor dead, or playing dead, once you were done. However immediately after your grenade went off you heard an alarm go off. Clearly you've made a lot of noise and have got caught. Ah well, just more fun right? Besides, how many goons could these guys possibly send at you? This was a simple weapons grab job, you weren't up against anyone big.

Although right as this thought past through your head you spotted one of the weapon crates you were after, looking at it more closely. What caught you're eye in particular was the S.H.I.E.L.D symbol imprinted on the side of the box, followed immediately by several armed guards running up to you, weapons drawn as they started to open fire.

[CumInTiana01]

i did-...[we did!] we did catch a lot of bullets with OUR body but quickly jump behind a box, who would want to steal from shield? aparently, me, but it's all for money, i need the money, i need to pay my rather handsome roomie to stay for another months, but a girls has to do what she needs to do to find money, and some fun "guys come on! don't you know how hard it is to pull out bullets from my body and then repair the suit? no you don't, because usually when you get a bullet, you die, am i dead? again no, but you will, wanna know how i know?· i quickly start running away right after dropping my guns and picked you a rocket launcher which was Casually laying next to me "again, Suprise, but after seing what youjust did to my suit, i don't think you're gentlemen at all, but i'm a lady, and i have and explosive present here for you" then i shot at them, causing a big ass explosion "get it?" i said with a chuckle as i start taking what was mine out of the warehouse in a truck "done!, now, to deliver this things to the safe place, and get some chimichangas, then some BOOBs, wait, that's a wade wilson thing, my thing are Cocks, alright, you caught me, i do like some boobs"

[Lazy Kitsune]

Being shot up like this was certainly a painful experience, although as always you were able to recover. Your suit, however, was not, leaving it largely in tatters, riddled with holes and rips revealing skin beneath. Setting off yet another explosion, your rocket blowing an even bigger hole in the wall as several guards dived out of the way, running from the area of the blast.

Getting all the crates in the truck as quickly as you could, you started to drive out of the warehouse only to find that S.H.I.E.L.D had already blockaded the exit you made, with several armored vehicles moved into place, guns aimed at you as you hear someone on a megaphone shout. "Alright, crazy near naked woman... drop your weapons and step out of the vehicle now!"

[CumInTiana01]

i laugh a little before speeding up more-... [wait wait wait! we are really going to drive through them!? i thought you were the mature and responsible one!] shut up already and do it! there was no car that could stop the-..."Behold The fucking amazing Deadpool Truck! if you think some cars are going to stop my awesome, heavily nd carefuly plan of escape fail, you might want to call your doctors and tell them to bring some shovels" then i speed up until this truck go as fast as it could so i could go between them easily...

[Lazy Kitsune]

You sped up your truck to try and move between them before they could cut you off. "Open fire! Open fire!" the clearly nervous guy on the megaphone shouted and all the guns aimed at you released a hail of bullets, ripping through your truck, and you, as you drove. Just as it seemed you were moving fast enough to make it through, your tires popped, hit by bullets. You were able to maintain control and use your momentum to keep moving forward, right when to of the armored cars pulled up on either side of the truck and smashed into you, stopping you in between them.

[CumInTiana01]

"oh shit!" i said while grabbing a riffle and playing dead before the inpact, waiting for them to open the door of my truck "you're starting to piss me off, and i'm not happy when i'm pissed off" then i start shooting at the ones in front of the door and everyone who was on my way "you hungry? because i won't stop feeding you bullets, even your descendants will fell them!"

[Lazy Kitsune]

You started shooting through the soldiers that were right outside your truck, however most where able to get away in time. You were still jammed between the two cars when they started pulling away on their own. Before you had time to figure out why, three grenades dropped at your feet in the front of the truck.

[CumInTiana01]

"this is going to be legend-...!" the explotion interrupted me, but soon i go out of the truck with al my skin burned and of course, my suit was burned too, so i was practically naked, "bastards...now i have to make a new outfit, do you know how much does it takes...!?" i grab one of the guns on the floor and start shooting at all of them while my body slowly recovers itself, but killing them in time to not look at my recovered face"

[Lazy Kitsune]

They seemed to lose all sense of organisation, clearly surprised by how you were able to walk off being blown up. It wasn't difficult to get rid of the guards immediately around your location, clearing the area as you stood, letting your body recover leaving you completely nude and with no truck to deliver the weapons with. You would need to find another way to get them out of here before more reinforcements arrived to make your job more difficult as they would likely be aware of what exactly it was they were dealing with now.

[CumInTiana01]

"fucking hate when they blow me up" i said while taking one of the bodies, striping it down and start getting dressed with the shield outfit "ok, there's no possible way there was only one truck, i mean, who does that? aren't they suppose to be transporting more than that thing i should be stealing?" i said as i start running and looking at the warehouse that wasn't destroyed "hello!...any dead bodies or truck i can use in here? don't say anything if there's someone in here!"

[Lazy Kitsune]

You managed to get the shield outfit on quickly enough, covering up your body. While it wasn't quite the right fit and still had a few holes in it itself, it did the job well enough. Indeed you did find another truck by the warehouse, although by this point you heard more and more shield operatives moving around, mostly just guards you seemed to have missed or who had fallen back after what had just happened. They seemed to be searching for you as well as checking for survivors, pulling aside wounded to be treated, however while a few of them caught sight of you, they were too disorientated and concerned with helping others to identify you while you were in the new outfit. Still, you doubt that it would take long before someone took proper notice of you and called you out to the others.

[CumInTiana01]

i get on the truck and start driving it, trying to avoid the looks, no one saw my face thanks to the mask, so i can walk out of here without a glare "please don't joke, please don't joke, please don't joke" i whispered to myself until i made it to one guard "i'll move the goods to the place they need to be, before that crazy woman returns" i said while going down and moving the weapons from the destroyed truck to another, it seems they didn't ran off of agents, i could be here the whole night, so let's play quiet ninja!

[Lazy Kitsune]

The guard turned to look at you, at first seeming to nod and agree with what you were saying before he looked over your uniform and seemed shocked. "Hey, are you OK?" he said, looking closely as he saw how bloodstained and ripped up the guard outfit you were wearing was. "Do you need any medical help? You look like you were in the middle of all of that."

[CumInTiana01]

"don't worry, i'm one of those super humans working for shield and shit, i'm the one who do that stuff who made everyone gasp, you know, The stuff, uhm...yeah, i have orders to deliver this stuff, so, maybe i'll show you my stuff other day...wait, that came out wrong..." i finish moving the weapons and quickly get in the truck before he could ask more questions, then, thanks to the grenade, i have space to leave, and so i start driving the truck "shit, that was close"

[Lazy Kitsune]

He blinked at you in confusion and watched you quickly move into the truck as he scratched his head. Although it seemed right as you started moving off, he finally caught on and started calling out on his radio. Soon, you found yourself being chased by a couple of armored vehicles once more which seemed to be trying to shoot at your tires.

[CumInTiana01]

"oh for crap sake!" i shout as i start throwing out of the window everything that could come in handy "hey...this is a shield's truck...GM, Where are the fucking weapons, i'll be glad if you give me a bazooka like, under my seat, but two machine guns will be great as well, whatever you want GM. i won't push you, but i need it like NOW!" i said out loud not realizing i was alone [are we?] for fuck sake, deadpool!

[Lazy Kitsune]

After throwing out some books, a pair of gloves, a boot, three shirt buttons and a half-empty, or half-full, depending on how you look at it, coffee cup you quickly look around for weapons in the vehicle. While there didn't seem to be anything as convenient as a bazooka or two machine guns under your seat, you did find a pistol in one of the driver side compartments. It seemed like all other weapons that the vehicle may have been carrying in the front were removed to be used against you in your initial assault of the warehouse.

[CumInTiana01]

"well...this might be useful" said deadpool while looking out of the window and...Wait! don't throw it! [why? it we're lucky it could hit the wheels and turn around some car to explode and stuff] it has bullets, with bullets, you can shoot at the tires! [that makes more sense] i start aiming while trying to shoot at the tires of the first car, it i managed to make that one turn around, then the others will hit it, and everyone will explode like it was the four of july!