Monstergirl VS (not a game)

[musical74]

So, I did a bunch of monstergirl VS monstergirl threads in another forum, treated something akin to a Miss America pageant in explaining why each monstergirl is better than the other one. These are short little pieces which always include the MC getting nosebleeds because the monstergirls are showing off their, uh, assets and either fighting outright (or trying to) or hurling insults at each other. I did a bunch of these and want to show them off. In talking with a mod it was initially decided Non-flash creative corner was the best place for these little bits. It MIGHT fit better in general, if a mod feels this is better suited in general please move it. With that in mind, I'll explain each one a little bit since this other forum dealt with monstergirls that were humanized in some manner...

First off is a snake battle between a lamia and a shirohebi, think of it like an Eastern-themed lamia, the salamanders and lizardwomen that show up are humanoid, "mamono" is another word for monstergirl, the small text is the MC muttering under his breath... and away we go!

MC: All right fans, today we have a very special versus battle!

First off we have the lovely lamia, well known for her beauty, her love for her man, and charm! and her jealously Take it away, lamia!

Lamia: I thought you said something else...oh well! Everyone knows I'm the BEST snake-mamono there is! With my beautiful body, my perfect breasts, and lovely tail, men all over love me! *smile turns sadistic* If you cheat on me, I will make SURE you never do it again! Who can resist getting snuggled in a loving tail-wrap? Yep, I'm the best!

*Lamia poses showing off her front, causing the MC to get a nosebleed*

Lamia: SEE? The MC knows I'm the best!

MC: stupid nosebleed, I promised I wouldn't do this

Lamia: *singsong* I can't hear you!

MC: N-nevermind! Here is the beauty from the land of Zipangu, the lovely Shirohebi! Take it away!

Shirohebi: Yes, well, I feel if you are going for a lamia, your standards are too low! Look at my wondrous body, I keep it in MUCH better shape than that stupid slut. Also, we are well known as temple maidens, wouldn't you rather enjoy time spent discussing holy things with a shirohebi then fleeing from a lamia??

Lamia: *mad* Oh, like you are all holier-than-thou with your speech, men have to actively seek you out and even THEN they might not find you!

Shirohebi: That's what happens when you are a TEMPLE MAIDEN, but human men know the general area where to find us! *sadistic smile* If you thought cheating with a lamia was bad, cheating with me is MUCH worse!

MC: Great, another jealous mamono

Shirohebi: Stop mumbling, dear sir! Anyway, wouldn't you rather THIS over that stupid lamia?

*Shirohebi poses, causing another nosebleed from the MC*

Shirohebi: See? The MC knows beauty when he sees it!

Lamia: *mad* He did that for me too!!

Shirohebi: *mad* WHAT?? How could he possibly have any interest in YOU??

Lamia: You wanna fight?!

Shirohebi: BRING IT!!!

*The two mamono start brawling. Two salamanders and two lizardwomen are brought in to separate them, but the lamia and the shirohebi seem intent on crushing each other*

MC: Oh boy... So, um, we have the lovely lamia and the lovely shirohebi, each worthy of your love! So vote for who you think is the best! fast

[musical74]

Another one, based off of a game called Monster Girl Quest. In it there are four very powerful monster girls called Heavenly Knights (humanoid)...but these aren't them, it's four humanoid monster girls emulating them! With that, off we go!

MC: Hello everyone! We've hot a great matchup for which of the 4 Heavenly Knights you feel is the best, you all know them, so let's just get started!

*Salamander comes in, and whispers to the MC*

MC: What? These are kids just emulating the 4 Heavenly Knights?!

Salamander: Yup. And the kids are here already. If you want, you can do a VS of them. Think they'd like that.

MC: Oooookay. Well, we'll work with what we have. *Salamander nods, gives the MC a card, and leaves* UM! Looks like it's cosplay day, as we have four young mamono wanting to emulate their heroes! So *reads the card* take it away, Goblin girl!

GG: Everyone knows that goblins are strong, and we are great fun to have around! People know better than to cross a goblin because we are so devious! I'm the Goblin of the Earth, vote for me!

*Goblin girl poses...I guess it's erotic?*

MC: Uh... Next we have the Tiny Lamia, say a few words to your fans!

TL: Goblins may have the strength, but NO ONE crosses a lamia! Everyone knows we are jealous and will force people to understand the dangerous of two-timing us! Here, I'll demonstrate!

Before the MC can stop her, the tiny lamia tries to suffocate a guy in the front row...

Guy: Hey, this is a great massage!

TL: UGH! IT's SUPPOSED TO BE BINDING!! *she tries harder, with the same results...*

MC: Um, we understand, Miss lamia. Is there anything else you'd like to say?

TL: *annoyed* Yeah. I'm the Lamia of Water, vote for me!

The Tiny lamia then this posing as well... I guess it's working?

MC: Hm. A-anyway, next is the Vampire Girl, take it away!

VG: A lamia may force you to like her with her body, me, I can do it with my magic! I just have to cast a spell and *poof* instant loyalty! Of course, I can take care of myself when it comes to fighting too! I'm the Vampire of the Air, vote for me!

*Vampire girl poses as well. Not sure she understood her comment had a sexual overtone. Also wondering why she's posing that way...*

MC: Uh... A-anyway, our last contestant is the Dragon pup, take it away!

DP: Please, a dragon is the strongest there is! Goblins may be strong for their size, but no one crosses a dragon, PERIOD! Between my strength, my breath, and my attitude, I'm clearly the best of the four!! Dragon pup of Fire, vote for me!!

*Dragon pup poses as well. As she is the most developed of the four, her posing causes the MC to get a nosebleed, which he tries to hide*

MC: UM! There you have it, Goblin of Earth, Lamia of Water, Vampire of Air, and Dragon of Fire, please pick which one you like the best!

*under his breath* Is anyone going to vote for these kids?

[musical74]

Another one (along with a comment because it's so funny) on Hobgoblin VS Hakutaku. Hobby is humanoid and has BIG breasts, the hakutaku is a beastwoman cow from the "Mist isles", also humanoid. Also, guys, if you wanna comment on these go ahead.

MC: All right, sports fans! Today we have a very unusual matchup, a mamono that's all about strength and huge tits versus a mamono that's well known as a sage! We drew straws backstage and the hobgoblin won, say a few words why strength is supreme!

Hobgoblin: I'm all about the strength, plus I have an easygoing personality! Sure I could mention these *pushes her breasts together* but there's more than that! We are strong *easily lifts up a huge club, which a goblin that's with her can barely move* easygoing, carefree, have a bunch of goblins for fun, and we just enjoy life! What's the point of all that studying anyway?! Vote for me!!

*Hobgoblin proceeds to pose, causing a nosebleed from the MC*

MC: MEDIC! Uh, let's not forget the sagely Hakutaku, say a few words on why intelligence is the best!

Hakutaku: While strength may have its uses, intelligence is FAR better! You learn how to read people, understand what makes them tick, and can have great conversations with people! With the airheaded hobgoblin, good luck carrying on a conversation that doesn't deal with sex in some way! With me, I'll discuss pretty much any topic and be able to keep the conversation going! BESIDES, men are more attracted to intelligent women, men will keep coming back to the intelligent beauty! Vote for me!

*Hakutaku poses, causing another nosebleed from the MC, and the hobgoblin complains*

Hobgoblin: Strength is better!!

Hakutaku: For a brawl, yes... for attracting a man, I've got the edge!

Hobgoblin: I have another edge! *pushes her breasts together again, causing the MC to faint from blood loss*

Hakutaku: Brains and personality are better than physical attributes!

*Hobgoblin and Hakutaku stop, maybe just to renew their insults...but at least they aren't fighting*

musical74: We have the strong hobgoblin and the wise hakutaku, vote for who you think is best!

and the comment, partially because most of the comments to this point were about the sexy teacher hakutaku being better...

YOU FOOLS! How dare you utter such contemptible words again the great hobgoblin?! She overflows with charm (hobgoblin belches), grace (hobgoblin trips over nothing), and maturity (hobgoblin has a tantrum). Unfortunately that has nothing to do with the discussion at hand. So ponder this friends: intelligence is powerless against overwhelming strength. I will admit that intelligence is very important, the countless battles and wars won through brilliant strategy is proof of that. But I'll argue that there's an equal number of strategies that have failed due to underestimating the enemy's strength, or battles that should have been lost, but have been won via sheer power and grit! Yes intelligence is important, but a smart man knows he needs strength on his side as well. And I'm totally not arguing because I like hobgoblin and think they should win. *realizes that everyone can see his vote for hobgoblin t-shirt, and tries to hide it under his hobgoblin shill sweater*

[musical74]

Few more, remember you can comment if you want

MC: All right fans, today we have a great treat for you! We have the powerful vampire and the engaging dhampir, ready to do battle! Vampire, you're first, so take it away and say a few words to your fans!

Vampire: I'd BETTER be first, I'm clearly the better choice! *sneers* Clearly, men love us because of our high rank, our powers, and because we make sure to care for those that we deem worthy! You know you will be cared for by a vampire, unlike that stupid slut of a cousin! Who doesn't love vampires, after all? It's almost a sin to not vote for me!

*Vampire poses, causing the MC to get a nosebleed...we need to find a MC that won't nosebleed so easily...*

*20 minutes later*

MC: UM! Let's not forget the loving and caring dhampir, take it away!

Dhampir: *annoyed* You want a holier-than-thou vampire that will look down on you, or a dhampir that will treat you with respect and actually cares about you?? I may not have the power or ability that a vampire has, but I'm FAR friendlier to humans, and unlike those stupid prudes, I can carry on conversations with humans! Clearly, I'm a better choice, vote for me!

*Dhampir poses, causing another nosebleed from the MC...and the vampire bristles*

Vampire: Are you saying YOU are a better choice than ME?? I have the power and the magic, what do YOU have??

Dhampir: I treat humans with respect, something I don't see YOU doing!! You're all high-and-mighty and view yourself above humans! Face it, you're just second best!

Vampire: How DARE you of all people tell me I'm worse than you??

Dhampir: You wanna bring it??

*Vampire and Dhampir start brawling*

Vampire: STUPID SLUT!!

Dhampir: STUCK UP PRUDE!!

*Two lizardwoman and two salamanders try to separate them...which proves to be quite difficult*

MC: Um, clearly there's some tension between them...we have the powerful vampire and the loving dhampir, please vote for who you like the best!

[musical74]

MC: Good evening fans! Today we've got a very special matchup, two warrior women that love the thrill of battle! First off is the lovely Salamander, take it away!!

Salamander: I looooooooove the thrill of the fight, it's the greatest thing ever! Everyone loves a good fight, and if you are a good scrapper, I'll reward you in a *special* way, win or lose! Vote for me!!

*Salamander poses, causing a nosebleed from the MC...*

MC: UM!! Let's not forget the hinezumi, who proves that fighters come in all sizes! Say a few words to your fans!

Hinezumi: Yes, well, the Salamander requires a sword to have a good scrap, I don't need any such thing! I'm all about the brawl, that's the important thing, and I can do quite well with just my fists!! That makes me the better choice, because I DON'T NEED A WEAPON!! Vote for me!!

Hinezumi poses, causing another nosebleed from the MC... and the Salamander bristles*

Salamander: You implying I'm worthless without a weapon??

Hinezumi: DUH, I bet my kid sister could tear you apart if you don't have a weapon!!

Salamander: Wanna prove that?!

Hinezumi: BRING IT!!!

Salamander and Hinezumi start brawling. Attempts to separate them prove to be a challenge because the heat and fire from the two mamono is QUITE intense...

MC: Ladies, ladies, no need to brawl! Remember this is a popularity contest and -

*MC is thrown 15 feet away by an errant punch*

musical74: Uh, we have the passionate Salamander and the fiery Hinezumi, vote for who you like the best!

*brawl continues on*

[musical74]

MC: All right everyone, we have a real treat for you all today! We have the friendly and lovable Kobold squaring off against the mighty Jabberwock! First off is the Kobold, say a few words to your fans!

Kobold: With me, you know exactly what I'm thinking! If I'm happy, sad, upset, really excited, or whatever, you'll know because I use my whole body to convey the emotion! Also, humans like us and WANT to be around us, we make great pets! Who wouldn't want an affectionate mamono cuddling against you?

*Kobold tries posing...MC still gets a nosebleed even though the pose isn't all that great*

MC: HM! And here we have the mighty Jabberwock, take a away!

Jabberwock: *sniffs haughtily* Like you all want a docile and meek mamono! It's MUCH better to have a mamono that knows what she wants and is willing to take it! BESIDES, look at my body, it is sooooooo much better than that stupid loli kobold! Humans love it when a mamono takes charge and I have no doubt that I can love much better than that loli slut! Wouldn't you much rather have a mamono that takes charge??

*Jabberwock poses, causing a nosebleed from the MC*

Kobold: B-b-but there are humans that like the calm and friendly mamono, they like being in control. I'll let them choose when it's best for them. Y-you scare people with your attitude!

Jabberwock: Oh pul-lease! They'll wait forever if they choose you!! In fact, you even aren't much of a fighter, who on earth would choose you??

*An ogre, hired to keep the peace, steps in between the Jabberwock and the kobold. Jabberwock and ogre glare at each other...if looks were daggers, someone would be seriously hurt*

MC: N-now now, there's no need for violence! We have the calm and friendly kobold and the powerful and proud jabberwock. Please choose who you feel is best!

(I'm aware that kobold isn't a loli. The Jabberwock is using it as a slam)

[musical74]

All right sports fans, today we have a very special dogfight (both anubis and werewolf throw things at the MC, causing him to duck for a few minutes), and both are clearly ready, so let's start things off with the desert wolf, the anubis!

Anubis: I'm the best, plain and simple. I take care of my man, I ALWAYS have mummies around to help care for him, and I can make sure my man gets more than enough loving with my special *mummy curse*, vote for me! *Anubis poses, showing off her leg and her front, causing the MC to have a nosebleed... 20 minutes later...*

UM! And here we have the forest wolf, the traditional werewolf, take it away!

Werewolf: Like a guy REALLY wants every little detail planned out and doesn't have any freedom?! Oh, and the *mummies always being around*, sure, just what someone that's afraid of the undead needs! With me, you get a pack of us lovelies, we can care for men just as well as that desert slut, AND we allow our men freedom! Clearly I'm better, I don't control the guy with every little detail, and we DON'T scare people away!

*Werewolf poses, causing the poor MC to get another nosebleed...and the Anubis gets mad*

Anubis: What do you mean I'm a control freak?!

Werewolf: Well, you are, and you send your mummies to hunt men down, you won't even do the work yourself!

Anubis: I DO NOT!!

*Anubis and Werewolf start brawling*

musical74: Um, clearly we have a few issues here. You have the desert wolf, the anubis, and the forest wolf, the werewolf, please vote for who you like the best!

[musical74]

MC: We have a very special match for us today: a warrior's challenge, as we have the Dhampir facing off against the Lizardwoman! First is the mysterious Dhampir, take it away!!

Dhampir: I'm one that actively cares about the feelings of humans, one that HATES it when other mamono *coughvampirecough* look down on men! You want a powerful mamono that's more interested in *caring for men, treating them as equals no matter who they are* then I'm your girl! You won't find too many other mamono that look out for humans and deal with mamono that are rude or obnoxious!

*Dhampir poses provocatively, causing a huge delay while the MC is treated for major nosebleed issues. 30 minutes later*

MC: UM! Let's not forget the lovely Lizardwoman, say a few words to your fans!!

Lizardwoman: Sure, the dhampir may make for an OK companion, but I'm a better choice! Everyone knows we are warriors, we can handle most any weapon, and we actively seek out warrior-types to test their skills! If you lose we don't mind too much and we always welcome warrior types of all kinds!

*Lizardwoman poses sexily, causing another huge nosebleed from the MC*

Dhampir: Uh huh, sure you are a warrior-maiden. Tell them what happens if they anger you, even if it is accidental!

Lizardwoman: Any man who angers me gets what he deserves!!

Dhampir: Uh huh, get a Lizardwoman mad and forget about living. You really think you want a mamono who flies off the handle when mad??

Lizardwoman: Men know not to anger me like that!!!

*They start brawling all over the place. It takes two ogres, two orcs, and two dragons to separate them*

musical74: Um, clearly there's tension here. So, pick who you like better...fast.

[musical74]

So, I did a little short about a knight going to rescue a fair maiden from a dragon, only to discover that the maiden doesn't need rescuing. It's a little rough but still funny.

The knight knew that the fair damsel was locked up in a tower, and that a fierce dragon was guarding her. It would no doubt be a tough fight, but the knight figured he was in good shape to be able to defeat such a powerful foe. He was highly skilled, knew how to counter dragon breath (get out of the way), and was one of the king’s best knights. When he saw the maiden, he boldly declared, “Fear not, fair maiden! I have come to rescue you!”

However, the woman’s response was very much not what he was expecting! “Rescue me, from what?”

“The dragon guarding you, of course! It’s practically a trope, fair maiden captured by fierce dragon, rescued by heroic knight!”

The woman sighed. Another knight assuming she’s captured, and goes off to rescue her, not realizing that she’s here of her own free will and that the dragon is no threat. Stupid knights, always thinking with their muscles!

“For your information, I’m here of my own free will and the dragon is a wonderful friend! I don’t need rescuing because I am not in danger!! Leave me alone!”

The maiden here voluntarily, and friends with a dragon? The knight couldn’t believe this, the dragon must be controlling her somehow!

“You are here of your own free will? B-but…that’s not how the story is supposed to go! You are supposed to be terrified of the dragon and waiting for a knight to rescue her!”

“Did you ever stop to think that maybe I wanted this? Noooooo, you just assumed I must be terrified and wanted help. I don’t want help, because I’m not in danger! The dragon is not a threat! LEAVE ME ALONE!!”

“B-but…you are supposed to be terrified, and thrilled that a knight is here to rescue you…”

“Are you even listening to me?? I do not want help!! Certainly not from someone who has no clue what’s going on! Stupid knight…”

“I d-don’t get it, the maiden is always afraid of the dragon, and thrilled to see a heroic knight…”

“Yeah, well not this time! TERRIN!!”

A dragon shows up at the terrace. “You called, my lady?”

“Yes, teach this stupid knight outside that he shouldn’t rely on an overused trope and assume I’m in danger from a dragon!”

The dragon nodded and proceeded to flame the area around the knight with his breath. The knight avoided the breath, but still refused to believe what was happening. The maiden here of her own free will? The maiden and the dragon, friends? The maiden actually mad at the knight for making a series of assumptions? The knight tried one final time…

“Y-you mean, the report that you were in danger was false? The way it was presented, I t-thought…”

“Lemme guess, my abusive and overbearing ex-boyfriend made the report and manipulated things to make it sound like I was terrified, and that the dragon is a threat. Couldn’t be further from the truth. Tell your king I do not need saving, and the dragon is no threat. If he refuses to believe that, the king is as much of a dummy as all the knights who assume I’m in danger.”

The knight slowly nodded. While he was struggling with everything he was told, the maiden certainly seemed content and the dragon responded to her commands. The knight left, and the maiden sighed, heavily.

“How many times is this gonna happen before I’m left in peace? Oh well. Terrin, do you still have that board game?”

Yes, the maiden and the dragon were happy together, even with knights occasionally assuming she needed help and being convinced otherwise was a hassle. She figured if enough knights were told she was fine they would quit harassing her and she could live in peace with the dragon that she had known for years!