Legend of Krystal Forums

Have you played too many slave OWNER games? SlaveMaker v3, BrothelSim, Harem, Harem Collector, Overwhored, Conquest, etc. etc. etc. Are you suddenly wanting to play a game from a SLAVE'S perspective? Well, do I have a game *cough*demo*cough* for you! Dive into the kingdom of Fatuua and follow the adventures of a slave named Chell. Through dozens of missions *cough*none-yet*cough* and maps *cough*only-three-complete-ones*cough*, discover secrets *cough*not-actually-spoiling-anything-you-little-fuckers*cough* and perhaps even find love in chains *cough*obviously-not-implemented*cough*. All your choices have an impact on the story *cough*not-yet*cough*. So what are you waiting for? Download the *cough*very-early-demo-of-the*cough* game here: https://mega.nz/#!mBMATBLQ!633mq3tGtqIq ... efIO8Kttpo

*hint* There are currently three codes; one should be obvious, one is a very famous code, and one prefers to be called Miss (check another part of the forums to find that reference) *hint*

This is just the kind of story I was looking for without success (except in Japanese games).

EDIT: So I played the demo, and it's quite pleasant to have as many choices (including one that already brings an end ^^)

I had only one small bug. At the time of the sale, if one passes the texts without reading them, the NPCs remain stuck to the right of the screen. And when Chell comes around, she gets stuck in the queue and the game hangs.

Apart from that, a little advice: avoid large spaces. The cell of Chell is larger than the largest room of a palace.

My first thought is that you really need to cool it with the long pauses in conversations. I get that you're trying to show emotion and hesitance, but this isn't a real conversation, you can show that just by using "..." or implying it in the way they speak. Having the text just slowly drag through the screen is only frustrating.

On that note, why is this guy randomly monologuing his entire life to me? I'm learning why he got his scar? Chell's shared literally two words with him ("Thank you") and he's somehow unbottling emotions he hasn't felt in years?

N_Yah Wrote:On that note, why is this guy randomly monologuing his entire life to me? I'm learning why he got his scar? Chell's shared literally two words with him ("Thank you") and he's somehow unbottling emotions he hasn't felt in years?

And then... "Yeah well... oh, but look at the time! Time flies when you're exposing your most inner emotions to a random stranger. C'mon, let's go to the market so you can be sold just as my sister was before she was killed."

Don't get me wrong, the story is not bad... but not at that time. If later on you encounter the guy again as a trained slave, then you could justify that monologue being thrown to her... but at that moment, with a barred jail door between them... well.

Keep working on it though. As you very well said, slave-owner-games abound and it's refreshing to see someone interested in the opposite view.

Akkin Wrote:This is just the kind of story I was looking for without success (except in Japanese games).

I know, right? I was actually inspired by BlueWinds's post here.

Akkin Wrote:EDIT: So I played the demo, and it's quite pleasant to have as many choices (including one that already brings an end ^^)

I plan to have a bunch of random choices that will lead to humorous game overs. Also, I will probably be dialing back on the slutty choices in the future, in favor of more story related choices.

Akkin Wrote:I had only one small bug. At the time of the sale, if one passes the texts without reading them, the NPCs remain stuck to the right of the screen. And when Chell comes around, she gets stuck in the queue and the game hangs.

Noted and fixed.

Akkin Wrote:Apart from that, a little advice: avoid large spaces. The cell of Chell is larger than the largest room of a palace.

I already got some feedback on the room size, so I'm working on that.

N_Yah Wrote:My first thought is that you really need to cool it with the long pauses in conversations. I get that you're trying to show emotion and hesitance, but this isn't a real conversation, you can show that just by using "..." or implying it in the way they speak. Having the text just slowly drag through the screen is only frustrating.

Taken care of. There are still some pauses, but they should be tolerable.

N_Yah Wrote:On that note, why is this guy randomly monologuing his entire life to me? I'm learning why he got his scar? Chell's shared literally two words with him ("Thank you") and he's somehow unbottling emotions he hasn't felt in years?

Abelius Wrote:Don't get me wrong, the story is not bad... but not at that time. If later on you encounter the guy again as a trained slave, then you could justify that monologue being thrown to her... but at that moment, with a barred jail door between them... well.

I worked on that a bit, and hopefully it's not too awkward now.

Update in OP.

Great concept OP, i love the games with submissive female protagonist, and the dialogue options you have are great, keep going this game has potential