Sonic the Hedgehog ENF CYOA

[Enkide]

Give a good example please?

[Repoman]

Give a good example please?

Well okay. This is gonna be more writing general advice. You can use it to write CYA or fan fiction or roleplay or anything you'd like. I'm gonna use one of the entries in this CYA as an example. I don't know if you wrote it or someone else but it will serve as a good example on what to do with creative writing.

"Young Amy Rose expected that the day had arrived upon which she would finally win over Sonic. She was wearing a brand new dress perfectly flattering her skinny body and she thought it would do the trick. Unfortunately, she was attacked by robots, to be used as bait again. When they struck her with a beam, she did not feel any pain but her clothes were zapped off. That happened:"

Now it's not bad. I can somewhat tell what is happening but it's not exactly very good ether. So let's add some stuff to it and improve it without changing any of the context.

You can off by describing Amy's morning routing and her waking up, taking a shower and getting dressed. During that she can say to herself that today she will finally win over sonic. You can go into more detail about the dress. The color, the way it fit her curvy body, the way it felt on her body, her panties, gloves, shoes... Describe exactly what happened next. As it stands I don't know where she was attacked by robots, how did the robots look like what Amy felt during the attack. Describe the color of the beam, the way it hit her, how she reacted to being hit, how the clothes slowly dissolved off her body. Did she open her eyes and realize what's happening, trying to stop it and salvage any remains of her clothes or did she kept her eyes closed and only open them once it was too late? I think part of the hotness of that is the embarrassment of suddenly being naked. You should describe her blush and shocked expression. And of course there is no mention of her body. It's nice to talk about all the sexy bits that get exposed. Use a lot of adjectives to describe her body (butt, boobs etc. etc.) like curvy, full, well toned, sexy, round, pink, spherical, heavy, large, perky, womanly etc. etc. Talk about every detail but don't go into the good stuff too quickly. Play a little with the people reading, make them really want to get into the good stuff. But at the same time don't overdo it and make them too bored, you want to always keep the reader wanting to know what happens next and how sexily and realistic you will describe it.

Now I didn't ever write anything yet and already I'm way longer than the entry itself, just bouncing ideas. If you wanted to expand on the ideas you could easily make an at least 3 paragraph entry. If you wanna write longer and more descriptive entries I suggest starting off with few exercises like that.

[Repoman]

Also I added a new game over for Rouges encounter with the shadow clones. I think it's quite "the good ending". And another new page about were-bats. Like a were-hog wasn't ridiculous enough.

[Enkide]

Ah nice, and sorry, been sick that I missed your reply.

[Repoman]

Ah nice, and sorry, been sick that I missed your reply.

I just wrote it yesterday. It took me long to reply cause I was pretty busy.

[Enkide]

Ah nice, and sorry, been sick that I missed your reply.

I just wrote it yesterday. It took me long to reply cause I was pretty busy.

Understandable.

[Enkide]

Know it's been a while, but I updated Cream in the dessert setting ;P

[flamecid]

hi, I've read all (or at least most I've skimmed the ones i missed) the posts in this "post" (?) and I've also read a LOT of stories on the "edit this" website and had a look at a few pages of your story (I've also gone through A LOT of visual novels which are basically the same thing) , and in my experience and opinion the better stories on the website are
A) the ones with at least 500+ pages and, more importantly
B) on the individual pages the best stories (even the ones with less pages in total) each page has more than 3-4 lines explaining what is happening at that point in the story, they have detail and it's the detail that make readers more involved in the story, which in turn increases their enjoyment of said story. have a look at how much detail is on a random page of one of my favorites, titled: Rampage (needless to say it has over 3200 pages)
http://editthis.info/create_your_own_st ... er_clothes

[flamecid]

unfortunately the large number of pages DOES lead to a large number of dead ends

[Enkide]

unfortunately the large number of pages DOES lead to a large number of dead ends

Yeah, unfortunately we're trying to work on them, but it's kinda hard when the ideas come and go XD

[BinaryHedgehog]

hi, I've read all (or at least most I've skimmed the ones i missed) the posts in this "post" (?) and I've also read a LOT of stories on the "edit this" website and had a look at a few pages of your story (I've also gone through A LOT of visual novels which are basically the same thing) , and in my experience and opinion the better stories on the website are
A) the ones with at least 500+ pages and, more importantly
B) on the individual pages the best stories (even the ones with less pages in total) each page has more than 3-4 lines explaining what is happening at that point in the story, they have detail and it's the detail that make readers more involved in the story, which in turn increases their enjoyment of said story. have a look at how much detail is on a random page of one of my favorites, titled: Rampage (needless to say it has over 3200 pages)
http://editthis.info/create_your_own_st ... er_clothes

I happen to suck at writing long passages....

[BinaryHedgehog]

Hey, an update. I've moved to story from the old wiki due to policy changes. Unfortunately, I don't think I can divulge the URL due to site's overall theme, and a belief it will conflict with this site's rules.

[FMC]

Could you do it in whispers? I'd still very much like to follow your CYOA, it's fairly nice.

[Enkide]

Sent