Fantastic Foursome - Looking for feedback!

[Black-Rose]

Hey guys and girls. I've been working on this flash on and off for a few weeks. A lot of the actual animations (mainly the hand/dick stuff) are not too refined and will be getting redone. I'm not too keen on the head suddenly flipping round but it was getting blocked so that's more of a positioning issue. I'll be working on emotional transition and stuff when I rework it.

Anyway, I just wanted to get feedback on the artwork style and expressions really.
Hope you enjoy anywho

-Black-Rose

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Sue Storm Test.swf [ 88.08 KiB | Viewed 27003 times ]

[MOD EDIT]

[DD-209]

Looks good! The eyes are the weirdest part for me - they look like they're just randomly staring off to the side in the early animations. As you say, could use some refinement overall, but it's nice to have a different artstyle from the usual.

[QuizmasterBos]

Let's see:
The quality of the artwork is outstanding, you did a great job on that.

As you said, a lot of the animation is unrefined, but I would like to address that you don't really feel she is giving a handjob. The penis does not move and she doesn't jerk it but instead she waves her arm up and down. Try editing the hand a bit so that it looks like she is grabbing the penis more, then make her arm move in spurts.

I don't exactly get her facial expressions. Is she not supposed to enjoy it? And sometimes she looks scared.

That's all I have to say about this.

[FruitSmoothie]

That tiny hand...

Needs some work on the anatomy, that's what I know best about in this stuff anyways. Hand is far too small. Her shoulder/head are really out of line. It's like her neck is coming out of her right shoulder before her head flips. When she's looking right (Her right) it's better but then her shoulder and arm are still out of line (Jutting forward). I recommend you use some real porn handjob references.

For instance in the later animations, her arm would naturally be down by her side, possibly pressed against the side of her boob and they would be moving along with the stroking motion. Right now it's in a very unnatural position if it's even possible. her shoulder/arm wouldn't come over her breast like that. It may sound weird by try moving your own arm like that in front of a mirror and you'll see what I mean. It probably strains your shoulder and arm right? It's always helpful to get in a pose you're doing yourself to see what it feels like (Helps me anyways).

[Mr D]

Well here goes
Artwork- It is not something I can judge since it is a trace but a good trace. It would look better if you used fills instead of lines (in general) but it is only a small detail and can be overlooked since it is not a very big close-up.

Expressions- The expressions do look good but they somehow do not look situation appropriate. Her expression looks like "Ewwww I have to touch that?"

Dat hand- yeaaa you might want to work on that.

Animation- pretty much the same thing QuizmasterBos said. You might want to look up Smooth Technique Tutorial from KaTsuO_O. Yea and for the animation to work the model has to be adapted to it like the hand that has to be remade.

To improve- redo the hand, make the dick move alongside the hand, smoother animation, different mouth unless you want her too look uncomfortable.
If you want I can show you how to improve it easily but just say so (do not want to do extra unwanted work)

also finish the nipple

[rebelseal]

looks good man keep it up

[Bad Idea]

In my experience, Convert Lines To Fills can often make a huge difference in how a piece "reads," especially when displayed at smaller sizes than you originally drew it at.

I get the impression you're struggling to place lines and points exactly where you want them. By any chance, are you having trouble with curved lines changing shape when you drag them? If so, the fix is to temporarily add a line that touches the curve at a point you want to anchor. Anchor two points on a curve in this way, and you can sculpt the line between those two points any way you want without risk of those points changing.

I know you asked for style and expressions feedback, not surface, but in this particular piece I honestly feel like the surface is throwing the style and expressions "off" from what you probably intended.

Good luck!