New Kid on the Block with a New Project

[TheoticalGerbil]

I love the characters and the art SO MUCH! Even if the game is lame, showcase as much of this gorgeous artwork as possible!!

Also, if you're doing requests, no rape, vore, or scat please. And if you're deadset on it, maybe make it optional?

Thank you so much! I'll be posting everything I work on for critiquing so have no fears there

And commenting on your request, I'm not a big fan of vore or scat either (I hate them actually), but rape I had planned on including. I mean, I look at it as situational. You have the ability to win a fight/or run, and be safe; or to lose the fight/stand still and get violated. So, in the end that sort of stuff will all be optional. Hope that fulfills the request.

Figured I'd include the front head shot too to see what you all think of the character. Better to get an opinion now before I go any further.

[Biles]

...no rape...

LOL

Figured I'd include the front head shot too to see what you all think of the character. Better to get an opinion now before I go any further.

[corta]

your art style has come a long way
things are looking good, but a few things I'd like poke at..

biggest problem you might have.. put a joint in her ankle.
deciding that you'd like to change it later aint no fun.

and with he front-view, give her butt their own parts so they can be animated.

also, you might want to put her eyes inside her head.
one less thing to animate and no jumpy-skull.

the elbow is a little pointy, too. (and it probably doenst need it's own sprite.)

next, masks.
(yeah, I opened it up..)
that should happen inside each sprite, or not at all if you copy your outlines and paste 'em over the glows so you know what to cut.

might think about giving the side-view a separate jaw, too.

and one last little thing,
eyes and brows in side-view are all straight, but front-view are arced.
big difference in chin sizes, too.
CONSISTENCY!

rape

[TheoticalGerbil]

Thnx for all the feedback, this is the type of stuff Im looking for. The ankle was done before I even read your post lol. I had planned to change it because I wanted to be able to change from a regular foot to a high-heel foot, and so forth. So ankle = complete. And that goes for the butt from the front too, made the cheeks a seperate sprite in case the legs ever get spread

As for your point on grouping sprites, I havent gotten that far yet, but rest assured when this is all done (the character creation process) I'll have all the items grouped per category that they belong to.

The elbow is fixed, removed the elbow and made a circle that completely matches the rotation of the lower arm, thnx.

Masking: Your going to have to go into more detail, because from what you posted...I've been doing that I'm fairly sure.

Side-view Jaw: I do not like the LoK's way of handling the mouth from the side. I like to animate, and will have a separate face template for each emotion (happy, sad, sucking..you get the picture). So no, lol, no flimsy jaws.

Eyes: This was something I thought about myself, and if I made the eye curved from the side, it would give the appearance of being too small, or out of place due to the thickness of the eye-liner. I'll play around with it and post what I come up with tho.

Over all thanks for all the input, appreciate stuff like this. Don't like the fact that you downloaded my stuff and immediately took it to SWFDecompiler...but hey, whatevs...

Edit: Attached the finished Front. Note that I've already adjusted the thighs to be a bit thinner as they are way to big in the attachment lol, so that's already done. I wanted it also noted, the this model does NOT need to be seemless. I plan on making specific parts for specific scenes because to make this model compatible with everything I have in mind is impossible. Think of this as the general framework. I enjoy draw this stuff out so making more parts in the future will be no biggie to me what-so-ever.

[Biles]

Are you planning to make angle shots and a back one as well? If so, I'm more than willing to bet that you would have to create literally over 100 symbols, and that's not including whatever outfit(s) you had planned in mind, not to mention a number of hand pose and facial expressions. >:3 I know, because I too have been working on a character sprite for a loooong time and I have a loooong ways to go.

[GreaseMyBACON]

looks great. Two things that stick out for me though:
1) her pinky is doing something weird in the side view
2)her waist seems to be too high up. I usually think of it as being right above the belly button.

[Anonymouse]

Sorry to be a hater, but there are a few things about the model that really throw me off. The first is the feet. No-one walks like that, it's not even possible without damaging your ankles. It makes sense for furries, which can be digitigrade, but not for a human. The angle of the foot is so extreme, you couldn't even add heels to that.

Secondly, the torso. This is my main issue because the torso, rather than being a bit odd like the foot, is actually a turn-off. It's hard to describe exactly what's wrong with it, other than that is NOT what people look like. Take this as a comparison: http://image.shutterstock.com/display_p ... 310600.jpg

1) The waist is way too thin. Maybe that's how you like women, and it's your art so it's up to you, but when the waist is about as wide as the neck, that is a major turn-off for me.
2) The shape of the back is too curved. The spine is mostly straight, but your model has it coming off at a solid 30 degree angle from the hip and shoulder. Here's an experiment: stand next to a mirror, with your arms hanging straight down. Now try to bring your chest so far forward that there is a visible gap between your arms and your back.
3) On the side view, the ribs are clearly visible behind the breast, making her appear starved. This might be as simple as making those lines a subtler shade as again, I understand an attraction to skinny women, but ribs sticking out is a whole different thing. Here's an example of how this looks in real life: http://cache1.asset-cache.net/gc/200349 ... 3j8q5ruQjd

Please excuse my negative tone, your art isn't bad (quite the opposite) but the proportions are way off.

[Terrantor!!!]

I dig it, man. Looks fun to animate and work with it. Lemme know if you're interested in making a game. I'm learning how to integrate dragon bones w/ starling and am on the verge of being a pro at it. so don't hesitate to message me.

[Elerneron]

I'm usually pretty quiet, but after Anonymouse post I felt I needed to directly address his issues with your model. These are only my own opinions, but . . .

Sorry to be a hater, but there are a few things about the model that really throw me off. The first is the feet. No-one walks like that, it's not even possible without damaging your ankles. It makes sense for furries, which can be digitigrade, but not for a human. The angle of the foot is so extreme, you couldn't even add heels to that.

Search Stiletto Heels in google images and you'll find about 5-10% of the images of REAL shoes require this extreme angle.

Secondly, the torso. This is my main issue because the torso, rather than being a bit odd like the foot, is actually a turn-off. It's hard to describe exactly what's wrong with it, other than that is NOT what people look like. Take this as a comparison: http://image.shutterstock.com/display_p ... 310600.jpg

1) The waist is way too thin. Maybe that's how you like women, and it's your art so it's up to you, but when the waist is about as wide as the neck, that is a major turn-off for me.

I feel that the waist is not too thin. Jessica Rabbit's waist is too thin, this is fine. (Again my opinion.)

2) The shape of the back is too curved. The spine is mostly straight, but your model has it coming off at a solid 30 degree angle from the hip and shoulder. Here's an experiment: stand next to a mirror, with your arms hanging straight down. Now try to bring your chest so far forward that there is a visible gap between your arms and your back.

This is actually a rather common trick, often used in comic books, to add a sense of action to a boring pose. It is used frequently in many artforms, often to a much greater degree than you see here.

3) On the side view, the ribs are clearly visible behind the breast, making her appear starved. This might be as simple as making those lines a subtler shade as again, I understand an attraction to skinny women, but ribs sticking out is a whole different thing. Here's an example of how this looks in real life: http://cache1.asset-cache.net/gc/200349 ... 3j8q5ruQjd

Those aren't ribs, those are the Serratus Anterior muscles http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serratus_anterior_muscle. I for one like it when these are made visible, especially with fit characters like this one.

Please excuse my negative tone, your art isn't bad (quite the opposite) but the proportions are way off.

As well they should be, comic book characters, cartoon characters, etc. have exaggerated proportions intentionally. Legs are usually too long for the body; this gives a character (especially a female character) added sexuality. Same thing with a thin waist. An enlarged chest emphasizes power and physical wellness. Exaggerated posture endows the character with added action, making a bland pose more exciting.

[TheoticalGerbil]

Are you planning to make angle shots and a back one as well? If so, I'm more than willing to bet that you would have to create literally over 100 symbols, and that's not including whatever outfit(s) you had planned in mind, not to mention a number of hand pose and facial expressions. >:3 I know, because I too have been working on a character sprite for a loooong time and I have a loooong ways to go.

Yes, I honestly am going to do angle and back sprites. As I stated before, time isn't an issue here. I'd rather do something right and it take forever and me learn a lot more from it then me rush something and it look half-assed, at which point I would of felt it would have been a waste of time anyhow. I have an extreme amount of patience, so no worries. I also wanted it noted, that unlike Playshapes and a few other artists around here making games, my library in my FLA file is extremely organized, so finding symbols and such is extremely easy (having a programming background helps, those naming conventions yo).

looks great. Two things that stick out for me though:
1) her pinky is doing something weird in the side view
2)her waist seems to be too high up. I usually think of it as being right above the belly button.

The gap of the pinky did look a bit off so I adjusted it to fit the other width of the fingers. Thanks for pointing it out.
As for the waist suggestion, please read below as I address this due to another suggestion (but it will be adjusted, it is a bit high)

Sorry to be a hater, but there are a few things about the model that really throw me off. The first is the feet. No-one walks like that, it's not even possible without damaging your ankles. It makes sense for furries, which can be digitigrade, but not for a human. The angle of the foot is so extreme, you couldn't even add heels to that.

Secondly, the torso. This is my main issue because the torso, rather than being a bit odd like the foot, is actually a turn-off. It's hard to describe exactly what's wrong with it, other than that is NOT what people look like. Take this as a comparison: http://image.shutterstock.com/display_p ... 310600.jpg

1) The waist is way too thin. Maybe that's how you like women, and it's your art so it's up to you, but when the waist is about as wide as the neck, that is a major turn-off for me.
2) The shape of the back is too curved. The spine is mostly straight, but your model has it coming off at a solid 30 degree angle from the hip and shoulder. Here's an experiment: stand next to a mirror, with your arms hanging straight down. Now try to bring your chest so far forward that there is a visible gap between your arms and your back.
3) On the side view, the ribs are clearly visible behind the breast, making her appear starved. This might be as simple as making those lines a subtler shade as again, I understand an attraction to skinny women, but ribs sticking out is a whole different thing. Here's an example of how this looks in real life: http://cache1.asset-cache.net/gc/200349 ... 3j8q5ruQjd

Please excuse my negative tone, your art isn't bad (quite the opposite) but the proportions are way off.

The feet can be changed out, I put those feet on there because the boots I'm making for her are a high-heel style. I do agree that the feet are too extreme, but they have a pivot in the ankle, so it can be adjusted easily, and I suck at drawing feet. Everything else you critiqued seems to be about body proportions. While I get that they don't exactly model a real-life woman, that's kinda the point. To anyone else who's suggested "real-life" to this model, I wasn't shooting for that when I started this. I was actually aiming more for a typical pin-up style. Google Cartoon Pin Up Girl and you'll see what i mean. So, yeah, exaggeration is warranted in these types of things (ribs, back arc, etc.). The front waist/hips does need work though and Im going to sort that out before starting with the back sprite. Thanks so much for the critique and I didn't read as hateful, just constructive opinion. No worries mate

[Biles]

Out of curiosity, are you drawing the parts directly in Flash, or are you using Illustrator or perhaps some other vector drawing program?

[TheoticalGerbil]

this character is entirely done in flash. I use illustrator sometimes for complex things, like the gun I did earlier I should've done in illustrator, as flash doesn't like to do "covert lines to fill" on complex objects. So, it really depends on what I'm working with, but for now, all flash.

Edit: Cleaned up the thread a bit and posted the last edit to the OP, ALL FUTURE UPDATES WILL BE POSTED THERE. Adjusted the Hips, changed the belly-button, worked on joint rotation. Over all, I think the front is done (but I still want feedback, and will adjust accordingly), so I'm getting started on the back sprite now.

[TheoticalGerbil]

Just finished the back model so the main directions of the MC model are finished. Started working on outfit but am not going to post anything as of yet, as I'm still working on a few qualms I'm having about its sex appeal.

[Terrantor!!!]

Hell yeah, brah.
Lovin' the direction this is going. 10/10 Would bang.

[Terrantor!!!]

Just finished the back model so the main directions of the MC model are finished. Started working on outfit but am not going to post anything as of yet, as I'm still working on a few qualms I'm having about its sex appeal.

[Kurushimi]

I may be wrong about this, but it looks to me like the abdominal lines, as well as the inner thigh lines, need a bit of adjusting. The abdominal ones make her look like she's got muscles jutting out perpendicular to the rest of he abdomen, at least a couple centimeters. The inner thigh lines (where they join to the pelvis) are just... Off.

[TheoticalGerbil]

I may be wrong about this, but it looks to me like the abdominal lines, as well as the inner thigh lines, need a bit of adjusting. The abdominal ones make her look like she's got muscles jutting out perpendicular to the rest of he abdomen, at least a couple centimeters. The inner thigh lines (where they join to the pelvis) are just... Off.

You mind giving an example, or an edited screenshot of the flash showing the area your talking about. I like the critique, but hate guessing as to what people mean. I made her the way that I thought she would look best as so I can't really see what you see wrong =/, I have to visually see what your talking about. Thanks.

[Terrantor!!!]

Ignore fhese critics, man. U'll never satisfy them. I'm designing it to where if they dont like the look, they can go and fix it themselves. Design her how you like her, seeing how she IS your character. Plus she looks great so far in the tests.

[Kurushimi]

Here it is, this is what looks off to me.

[Bad Idea]

Anatomy is hard. And when you're developing your own original style, it gets even harder.

Learn whatever you can from critiques, but don't get discouraged. We're not "correcting" you. We're showing you some of our tools. It's *always* up to you whether or not to use them.