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Falling Star Script writing.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 5:40 am
by BlueLight
I am making a java game and i need to write the story so thats what i'm doing.

Anyone that wants to offer feed back, watch, or help can go here

What i have set done in stone can be foundhere

I will be starting in about 5 minutes.

EDIT
Not much done since i realized i need to get other stuff done in my personal life.
I don't mind any one commenting about it in the forum or on the document.
The grammar might be bad since i didn't check anything yet.

Re: Falling Star Script writing.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 8:46 am
by sgtcoffman
This has me intrigued. I would love to help if you don't mind.

Re: Falling Star Script writing.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 8:08 pm
by BlueLight
Go ahead. I have the edit open to any one to edit. Thank you.

EDIT

I'm not liking this line
"The ship makes a hard landing and the inside the hull burst into flames as all the oxygen combusted. "
The word combusted has to go. ( seems it's not even a word.)
this might be a replacement.
"The ship makes a hard landing and the inside the hull burst into flames as all the oxygen burns."

I don't totally like that but It's okay until i get back.

Re: Falling Star Script writing.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 10:07 pm
by sgtcoffman
Combust is a word and i dont know why nothing says it is lol. Here is proof. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/combust

Re: Falling Star Script writing.

PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 4:52 am
by LoneWolf
Never take a computer spell-checker at its word; the things are idiots. They're better than a lot of human idiots, true, but 'less wrong' is not the same as 'right'. /end rant

Anyway, I've offered my two cents on the editable version.

Re: Falling Star Script writing.

PostPosted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 7:34 am
by sgtcoffman
That looks really good

Re: Falling Star Script writing.

PostPosted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 7:59 pm
by BlueLight
LoneWolf Wrote:Never take a computer spell-checker at its word; the things are idiots. They're better than a lot of human idiots, true, but 'less wrong' is not the same as 'right'. /end rant

Anyway, I've offered my two cents on the editable version.


True. Chrome keeps telling me that Heros isn't a word. This is likely attributed to the fact that people like adding a apostrophe "S" to plural words and the fact you never see it spelled that way.

While it could be true that heros is one of those annoying words that are just spelled funny i don't think it is. Also the fact that by popular use it's a word as of now.

Re: Falling Star Script writing.

PostPosted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 10:05 pm
by Thaedael
It is spelled with an "e" BlueLight... Heroes.
Also as for combustion, it is a word but he is using it incorrectly in that sentence.

Re: Falling Star Script writing.

PostPosted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 11:49 pm
by BlueLight
Dammit your right about the hero and the combustion i agree because it doesn't look right to me.
EDIT
Dammit i hate the spelling rule if it doesn't sound or look right it is not correct.
Anyways i'm going to my head against the wall some more.