I'm with you there, though it is very complicated to actually make a good adult game since it all bases on the "consumers" gusto. Some people just want ineractive animations or a specific fetish pleased which doesn't work with a "winning" player.
For me, the best examples of good h-content are adult mods for Oblivion or the RPG "Violated Heroine" which is translated right now. Because those games are legitimate RPG games you could play without any h-content and just enjoy the gameplay and story BUT you can have all sorts of adult experiences if you wish.
When I mod Oblivion h-y (XD) fr example I never turn it into a "rape-fest". On the contrary, I'm very selective in what kind of mods I include in the lovers mix - the overall game experience needn't to suffer. I think what will work in a world like Oblivion - people wouldn't just rape others on open streets with guards ignoring such a behaviour and the countess wouldn't agree to you just coming in and emanding a blowjob and so forth. But if you know what you want you can get your kick if you know where to look. If a bandit wants to rape my PC in the woods I'll simply put an arrow in his head. But if she encounters a wolf guarding a treasure she has other means to overcome the poor needy fella XD If the game offers stuff I really don't want to see it should give me the means to avoid such a situation be it combat, escape or persuasion.
Violated heroine is a interesting example: The gameplay is really nice as it resembles a 16-bit action-JRPG. Likewise, it has a functonal story with likeable characters in there. Rape is kinda omnipresent in the game but it's a "bad thing" if you want it to be. But you COULD let the PC go along with it, although it'd contradict the storyline but you can do it. On the other hand you can beat rapists and monsters into oblivion, rescue those in distress and feel good while doing so. Though the game includes lots of content I don't like (there is LOTS of shota and loli in there, although many of it is japanese-hentai-esque nonsense. For example, the game insists that the protagonist is _15_ years old but of course already has a very developed body while a support NPC you meet clearly looks, talks and behaves like a experienced cougar and "mom" for the PC although the game insists she is _18_) I can completely avoid that and can even punch people in the face if the dialogue develops in a direction I don't want. On the other hand while I actually play the game (which is really fun) and stumble across interesting situation I can do what I want... *gg*
Of course it is not flawless, it has some major issues but I still keep playing it and wait eagerly for the translation to progress further
So, to me my reward is to get what I personally want and I enjoy it more if I have to work for it. Ultimately it's all about CHOICE given to the player. Let me chosse what I want and what I don't want, ideally through gameplay choices which influence what comes next. Unlike a porn movie, a h-game should NOT be full of sex crazed maniacs but be a interactive experience I could just play for the sake of gaming but let me get loose if I feel dirty XD