As Victor desperately tries to comprehend his predicament, he feels something quite solid impact the left side of his head, and drive him into the ground much like a sledge would drive a fence-post. In the last few moments before his mind fades into unconsciousness, he sees a most peculiar vision: a platypus with wings is soaring into the sunset, followed by many others...and he can hear them singing...
"POUR SOME SUGAR ON MEEEE!!
Ooooh, in the name of love!
POUR SOME SUGAR ON MEEEE!!"(So...this is the gods' sense of humor...somehow, I'm not that surprised...) Victor has just enough time to think those words to himself, then blacks out...
...and awakens in a very different environment. The word-jumble of a geographical mess seems to no longer exist, and there's a window to his right side, with the pale glow of moonlight seeping in through the curtains. Victor looks to his left, and sees a picture on the dresser...a picture of himself in a tuxedo, and...is that Alice, his girlfriend, in a wedding dress? In the photo, her arms are wrapped around his neck, and their lips are joined in what appears to be a deep kiss.
(Wait...the portal...the bird-woman...the platypus flock singing Def Leppard music...was that all a dream?) He doesn't ponder it long, for the next sight that catches his eyes is Alice...standing in the room's doorway, buck-naked.
"WHOA! Alice, how'd you get...wait...is this..?" Alice replies with a giggle, and a simple, yet very significant set of words:
"Indeed it is, my dear...the night you put a baby in me."("Put a baby in her?!") Victor blushes redder than one would think possible for a man, but he doesn't even move off the bed; his mind is racing with too many thoughts to focus on something like that. Meanwhile, Alice straddles him, unzips his pants, and pulls out a rock-hard, 9.5-inch joystick...which Victor could've sworn would never be able to exceed 8 inches...
(Is this a...oh, who the hell cares if it's a dream, I'm still going to make the most of it!) Victor re-asserts his confidence, just in time to feel Alice lower herself onto him, hilting all 9.5 inches deep inside...and at that point, instinct takes over (that is to say, y'all can use your imagination on how that scene unfolds. Aint I a stinker?
).
Meanwhile, in reality, anyone who can see Victor's semi-comatose self would notice a trickle of drool from his open mouth, and his hips moving in a very slight (but just barely noticeable) up-and-down motion.